Forget Instagram or TikTok, here’s a better way to secure your own 15 seconds of fame: a premature Super Bowl tattoo!
You’ll be the undisputed king of football when you cop some ‘sick’ ink at the start of the season, and the laughing stock of the internet midway through December when your beloved New York Jets are eliminated from playoff contention.
Every year some hero jumps the gun and brands his/her body with a cringe-worthy tatt in a desperate attempt to try and gain some clout.
Here’s a look at some of the all-time Worst Early Crow Super Bowl Tattoos we could find on Pinterest, the ‘Gram, or wherever else people make a fool of themselves.
Hurts So Bad
Yes, the tears of unfathomable sadness, immortalized forever.
Looks like there’s plenty of room to add to this bad boy once the Chiefs walk all over Philly on Monday.
Not a Super Bowl Tattoo…
But a Pat Tat.
Why Should You Date a Cowboys Fan?
She’ll never expect a ring.
Stick to Hockey
These are two separate tattoos of equal hilarity. The one on the left is particularly great because the Lions went 5-11 in 2005 with Joey Harrington and Jeff Garcia under centre – meaning this poor sap went all-in well before the season even started.
In an updated version of this segment, meet Lions fan Alex Chesney, who decided to go all-in right before the 2023/24 season began with this piece of work.
Hopefully his tattoo artist has some leftover red ink.
Hey, at least the Pistons look promising, right?
A Serious Case of Gang Green
Here’s a winning combination – this tramp stamp mixed in with another very memorable 7-10 season.
Nobody Circles the Wagons Like the Buffalo Bills
Now here’s a guy thinking two steps ahead. The rug on the right suggests this once-proud Bills tatt is now covered by a fine layer of fuzz. Good thing, too. The last time Comic Sans was cool coincides with the same time the Bills last played in the Super Bowl (1994).
It could always be worse, though…
Run and Done? I’ll Pass
There isn’t enough beer in the world that could make this any better.
Philly (Is) Special
This is just Philly sports in a nutshell. One minute they’re throwing batteries, the next they’re a dynasty in the making. Also, where actually is this tattoo?
If that’s a shoulder, it’s a little too hairy for my liking.
The Sheriff Strikes Back
Peyton Manning, we thank you.
Dawg Awful
This one aged just as well as the Deshaun Watson signing.
Tony Oh-No!
My collarbone hurts just looking at this.
It Doesn’t Hurt to Dream
All ten Cardinal fans must have loved it when Joe Bob whipped this out at the tailgate!
9-7 Heaven
Cringeworthy, to say the least. But remember, the Colts hung a banner in the rafters to celebrate being a 2014 AFC Finalist, so it could always be worse.
Lamest Show on Turf
This is a great memento. The ‘L’ stands for loss and the “III” stands for the measly field goal the Rams managed against the Patriots a few years back.
Bulls on Parade
A nice portrait of Deshaun Watson should cover this up nicely.
A Series of Unfortunate Events
Two words: Dad material.
One to Show the Grandkids
It’s not an early crow, but hey, he speaks for everybody.
How to Jag a Cougar
This tat and the iconic 2003 web belt.
Ladies, get in line.
Not Horsin’ Around
Peyton Manning owes you a Coke.