It seems, at this stage, like Zak Butters is going to move on from Port Adelaide.
Conservatively, Butters is like a top-5 or 6 midfielder in footy who plays every minute like someone stole his lunch. He’s mean and he’s tough on the inside, but he’s also silky and explosive on the outside and is basically the sole reason Port Adelaide is currently a functioning footy club.
While he’s not a perfect player – he’s never kicked more than 13 goals in a season for instance – he’s the kind of player that could change the complexion of footy over the next 4-5 years if he changes clubs. It’s got Kevin Durant to the Warriors or Patty Dangerfield to the Cats potential.
In terms of who is in the hunt, Cal Twomey had a piece last week which said that Richmond has entered the race and named a number of other clubs who were already in the Butters Sweepstakes. Those clubs are basically all of the big Victorian clubs bar Essendon, so it’s Richmond, Hawthorn, Collingwood, Geelong, and the Dogs.
They’re the clubs I’ll rank, as well as one more that should inject themselves into the race.
I’m going to rank them on the basis of three big questions, each out of 10:
- How much impact would this have on the premiership race for next year?
- How much impact would this have on the premiership race for the next four years?
- How does this work karmically?
Let’s go.
Richmond
Butters changing clubs could genuinely change the AFL on its axis. If he goes to the Tigers, in their current state with their current coach and system, he’s just playing for Port Adelaide again except with less attacking intent.
And Richmond trying to build their club on the back of midfielders when Jonty Faull can barely hit his foot when attempting to kick would be insane, especially after the mistakes of making two midfielders two of the most expensive players at the club when you’re trying to reboot a dynasty.
It’s too early in the Richmond lifecycle.
Hate.
- How much impact would this have on the premiership race for next year? 1/10
- How much impact would this have on the premiership race for the next four years? 4/10
- How does this work karmically? 1/10
Total: 6/30
Collingwood
If it’s too early in the Richmond life cycle, it’s too late in the Pies one. Adding Zak Butters now would be like Rupert Murdoch marrying Alix Earle to spend the second half of his life with her.
It’s like brother we all get why you’d do it, but let’s be realistic about where you are.
This is a Pies team that is comprised entirely of Nick and Josh Daicos doing things. Adding Zak Butters and the likely pick and cap impact of that decision wouldn’t make it easier for the Pies to add more depth to the list, though I concede it might help Nick Daicos to stay.
Even with him, the Pies couldn’t win it all next year and would need to turn the list over wholesale over the next four which would probably be the end of Butters’ prime.
Plus, it’s Collingwood.
- How much impact would this have on the premiership race for next year? 4/10
- How much impact would this have on the premiership race for the next four years? 2/10
- How does this work karmically? 1/10
Total: 7/30
Geelong
Clearly, Geelong won’t have to pay Butters as much as other clubs might because on top of his wage, he’ll get a consultancy gig at Morris Finance, a farm, a nice beach front house at Moggs Creek, and a Ford Raptor, so the money is less important.
That would alter the complexion of next year, and clearly the complexion of the competition over the next four especially if Chris Scott sticks around. It’s just that I have to ask: do we really want this?
Chris Scott has never won fewer than 10 games as a head coach, has won two premierships, and has the Cats in finals every year. They’ve also consistently added stars and topped up just when it feels like their run is ending.
Should they really get another superstar?
In the socialist AFL, wouldn’t it be like Elon getting another billion or two for nothing?
- How much impact would this have on the premiership race for next year? 8/10
- How much impact would this have on the premiership race for the next four years? 7/10
- How does this work karmically? 1/10
Total: 15/30
Hawthorn
On field, the Hawks adding Butters would have a gigantic impact.
Butters would give them a genuine midfield superstar with some serious explosiveness, which they desperately need, and you just know that Sam Mitchell would use him perfectly.
It’s just that Hawthorn wasn’t bad enough for long enough for me to want him to go there. I’m also not sure I can handle another three-peat.
- How much impact would this have on the premiership race for next year? 10/10
- How much impact would this have on the premiership race for the next four years? 10/10
- How does this work karmically? 3/10
Total: 23/30
Bulldogs
The on-field impact for the Dogs would be big, but not as big as for Hawthorn. Where the Hawks are crying out for star mids, adding Butters to Bont, Richards, Sanders, Liberatore, and Freijah would be like Danny Ocean and Rusty having the “do you think we need one more” conversation.
So, while adding to a strength is big, making a relative weakness into a strength is bigger. Therefore, Hawthorn is higher on the on-field questions.
But everyone likes the Bulldogs. Everyone likes the way they play. They haven’t really been a destination for big ticket acquisitions since someone like Adam Treloar. Instead, they’ve developed their own stars from Bontempelli, to Richards, to Freijah.
They deserve a top-up piece.
- How much impact would this have on the premiership race for next year? 9/10
- How much impact would this have on the premiership race for the next four years? 9/10
- How does this work karmically? 7/10
Total: 25/30
Adelaide
Butters wants to go back to Melbourne. He’s from there. I have not seen a single report linking Butters to Adelaide.
But Zak Butters should go to Adelaide. He could become the Luis Figo of The Showdown.
More than that, he could become the Luis Figo or Benedict Arnold of the AFL: a figure synonymous with a cinematic level of betrayal.
On a footy level, Adelaide’s biggest problem is a lack of depth and explosiveness out of midfield other than Rankine and Rachele, who are rotating part timers. Butters instantly becomes Adelaide’s number one mid and gives them an extra element of juice to complement either Rankine or Rachele depending on the rotation.
With that group kicking to Thilthorpe and Fogarty, with the returning Mark Keane and Josh Worrell behind the ball, for next year and beyond that team is a threat.
Karmically, though, I wrestled with this. It’s bad karma for Butters personally to betray his club for their biggest rival, good karma for Adelaide because they will have ratfucked their biggest rival like they’re Jimmy McGill running the Coushatta scam, and both good and bad karma for the wider league.
Good because they get the drama of this kind of hitman style ruthless professionalism but bad because if this happens, then rivalries would truly only matter to the fans and the players are officially mercenaries.
I went in the middle, edging towards good because I love the drama. His first Showdown would be the most heated Adelaide v anyone game since the Wayne Carey v North return game.
- How much impact would this have on the premiership race for next year? 9/10
- How much impact would this have on the premiership race for the next four years? 9/10
- How does this work karmically? 6/10
Total: 26/30