Super Bowl LVII Headlines We Are Expecting to Read

Super Bowl LVII Headlines We Are Expecting to Read

James Caughlin

Super Bowl LVII is the biggest day in American sport and one of the biggest events set to take place in 2023.

Naturally then, the week is filled with predictions and prognostications about what will unfold on the field.

But we’re going to go for a slightly different approach.

We’re forecasting the headlines that will make the newspapers sorry internet buzz when the reporters file their stories.

Kelce Brothers Surprise Everyone by Downplaying Sibling Rivalry

One of the most overplayed stories of the week is the battle of the brothers, Travis and Jason Kelce lining up for the two participating teams.

Every network has done their bit on the “sibling rivalry” with their mother even getting involved.

But in a surprise move, both Kelce brothers are going to spend the game treating their brother like just a guy on the other team, doing their best to kill off the storyline.

Side note: half and half jerseys are never acceptable but for the Kelce parent, it is almost a justifiable move, although we’d like her to choose her favourite son by kickoff.

Andy Reid Searches for a Cheeseburger During Halftime Break Instead of Talking to his Team

Big Red loves his burgers (who doesn’t?) and with a fair bit of big game experience on hand, he decides to leave the halftime talk to his players.

If a fan spots him on the concourse, will they let him cut the line?

Patrick Mahomes Pass Declared “Greatest Throw Ever” Despite Hitting Fan in Row D

It happened in Super Bowl LV, when Mahomes made a spectacular throw while horizontal to the ground.

Many “experts” lauded this as the best throw they have ever seen in the NFL despite it going right through the hands of a Buccaneers defender into the face of the intended receiver.

Perhaps Jeff in the stands will catch it.

Nick Sirianni Spends Entire Sideline Interview Making Eyes at the Camera

The head coach of the Eagles knows where to find the camera operator and will make sure he is staring into your soul.

Every Super Bowl Party Has One Guy Watching National Anthem With Stopwatch in Hand

At the time of writing, the number was set at 125.5 seconds for the national anthem.

Someone is going to be counting on a LONG anthem from Chris Stapleton.

Jordan Mailata’s Sporting Background Misidentified

It’s a step in the right direction that the American networks recognise the Eagles’ left tackle having a background in a sport played primarily outside the 50 states.

But it is a near certainty that they will mix up what sport he actually played, in fact, the very unofficial market has that option priced at $1.01.

Currently in the unofficial market, “Australian Rules Football” is a dominant favourite for the incorrectly identified background, the generic “rugby” term a close second followed by the specific code names of rugby union and rugby league a long way behind.

Rhianna’s Halftime Show Universally Lauded

Because are we really expecting anything different from her?

Both Teams Claim “Nobody Believes in Us” Despite Successful Seasons

When you have two teams that have been among the Super Bowl betting favourites all year and the pundits have spent all season debating whether or not they are the best team in the league, the disrespect card is a hard one to play.

Even so, get ready for a number of players to still find some tiny, miniscule quote to take out of context and claim that they have just received the biggest criticism in human history.

Apparently Patrick Mahomes being a near unanimous MVP does not qualify as enough respect according to some Kansas City Chiefs players…

Plenty of Jokes Made About New York Jets Absence From Super Bowl

It’s been 54 years since the Jets last played in the Super Bowl… and we’re backing that to extend to 55 years in 12 months.