After much speculation that it might be canceled, this summer’s Ashes series is set to go ahead with the ECB and Joe Root set to give the green light to going ahead with the tour.
However, it comes at a cost after Joe Root and his men made a certain list of demands and the Australian government/Cricket Australia caving into them.
Our investigative journalism unit here at Neds, which has uncovered nothing and won zero awards in the past can EXCLUSIVELY REVEAL just what England players have been DEMANDING in the hubs while down-under, and you wonât believe what these primadonnas have been asking for!
Joe Root
The English Test captain played hardball to get the Ashes over the line and most certainly had the upper hand at the negotiations if this list of demands is anything to go by…
Root’s demands for his room and set-up in the hub simply has to be seen to be believed.
Each room must be draped. Black drapes are fine.
The entry door should open into the living room space, not the dressing room.
The temperature should be about 23.889 degrees.
1 Three Seat Couch â Plain colour, no busy patterns; black, dark grey, cream, dark pink are fine
12 1 Liters of Fiji Water
3 Bottles Chardonnay â Chilled
12 Coke
12 Diet Coke
12 Vanilla Protein Drinks
6 Sparkling Water (Pellegrino)
12 Melon Flavor Gatorade
6 Red Wine Glasses
6 White Wine Glasses
4 Joe Malone Vanilla Candles
2 Vases White Roses
Fried Chicken (warm)
12 Small Bottles water (room temperature)
3 Whole lemons and honey
Sugarless gum
Ben Stokes
Stokes is making life HELL for his army of PAs that would give legendary supermodel Naomi Campbell a run for her money.
Here’s what the England ODI captain is demanding once he sets foot in Australia.
6 Bottles of Louis Roederer Cristal Champagne
3 Bottles of French Vintage red wine (e.g. St Emilion, Medoc, Bordeaux)
3 Bottles of French Vintage white wine (e.g. Sancerre, Pouilly Fuisse)
2 Dozen Findeclare or Colchester Oysters on ice (unopened)â(Ben does his own shucking.)
2 Sashimi and Sushi platters for 8 people
6 Fresh lemons
1 Bottle of Tabasco sauce
1 Fresh fruit platter for 8 people
6 Bottles of Coca Cola
12 Bottles of still and sparkling water
12 Bottles of fresh fruit juices
Wine glasses, champagne flutes, tumblers (all glass, no plastic)
Cutlery and sharp knife
1 Oyster knife
1 Make up mirror (no neon strip lighting, only opaque white bulbs)
Fresh towels, clothes hangers, clothes rail
3-4 Bunches of flowersâprefer lilys and orchids
Sofa and armchairs
James “Jimmy” Anderson
England’s fast bowling, record-breaking wicket-taker is leading quite the rock ‘n roll lifestyle with these completely OUTRAGEOUS demands and insistence on using the imperial measurement system.
25-pound dumbbells
24-Diet Coke 16oz plastic bottles
12 Diet Coke 12oz cans
6 Verner ginger ale soda (or Schweppes)
48 Dasani, Poland Spring 12oz bottles âNO EVIANâ
1 Loaf of white bread
1 Loaf wheat bread
6 Lunchables snacks (3 turkeys & 3 ham with cheese)
6 Cans Red Bull
16 Cans Sugar-Free Red Bull
Large fresh jumbo shrimps with cocktail sauce and plenty of lemons
1 Jar of banana pepper rings
Johnny Bairstow
What Bairstow wants.
Bairstow gets.
Nuts
Pretzels
M&MS (WARNING: ABSOLUTELY NO BROWN ONES)
1 large tube of KY jelly
3 packs of Marlboro cigarettes (box â for my mates)
Herring in sour cream
2 gallons non-carbonated, bottled spring water
3 fifths Jack Daniels Black Label bourbon
2 fifths Stolichnaya vodka
1 pint Southern Comfort
2 bottles Blue Nun white wine
Jos Butler
Want the goss on Jos?
Here’s what the England vice-captain and best ODI/T20 player is demanding.
200-person entourage
2 international phone lines
His backstage room must look exactly like his own home (that means he ships around his furniture)
Special flower-scented fabric
Actual flowers
A personal chef who prepares only vegan foods
His own dry-cleaning service7 sets of metal silverware
1 Lighter
3 Glade Candles (French Vanilla, Rainshower, Wild Berry, Tangerine Ginger)
3 Cans of Chunk White Tuna
10 Nutri-Grain Bars (Blueberry, Cherry, Apple, Strawberry)
6 Individual Packets of Quaker Oats Instant Oatmeal (Brown Sugar and Apple Cinnamon)
1 Assorted Fruit Platter with strawberries, seedless red grapes, bananas, mango, blueberries, cantaloupe and raspberries
2 Cases of beer (one imported and one domestic; brands preferred: Amstel Light, Corona, Bud, Bud Light or local beer)
3 menus for local seafood and Italian restaurants to order meals for Mr. and Mrs. Butler.