The hunt is on to find the next man to coach Collingwood, for which the chosen one will be only the third individual to coach the Magpies since 2000, and just the 20th in the club’s proud 128-year history.

Nathan Buckley’s resignation as Magpie coach wasn’t a shock, but it sure is a big story.

Thanks Bucks 🖤

After almost 10 seasons and 217 matches in charge, Nathan Buckley will coach the team for the last time next Monday when Collingwood meets Melbourne at the SCG.

— Collingwood FC (@CollingwoodFC) June 9, 2021

Bucks did everything he could for Collingwood, but alas, he couldn’t take them to the promised land.

His final game will be this Queens Birthday Monday clash against Melbourne in the Big Freeze game at the SCG.

The senior coaching job at Collingwood is now one of the most sought after positions in world sport (according to a source deep inside the Collingwood organisation).

That same source, who we cannot name, has leaked the complete shortlist of contenders to the Neds investigative unit and we can reveal just who the Magpies are considering for the top job.

(1) Ross Lyon

The former St Kilda / Freo coach already expressed his interest when asked about it during last night’s episode of Channel 9’s Footy Classified, hosted by former Magpie volunteer Eddie McGuire.

Lyon could be the answer to what the Magpies need to go forward, and could really make the Collingwood staff Christmas party one not to miss.

(2) Robert Harvey

Harvey will take over the top job for the rest of the season and if the Pies string together a couple of wins, #HireHarvey will be a thing.

Like Buckely, Harvey has achieved many things in his football career and is a legend of the game, he’s just missing a premiership.*

(*1996, 2004 and 2008 Ansett/NAB Cup doesn’t count)

(3) Alastair Clarkson

Hawthorn isn’t any good anymore, and sure, he could try and rebuild the Hawks or Clarko can take a lot of money and try make a go of it at Collingwood.

In the words of another McGuire, show me the money.

(4) Damien Hardwick

You just couldn’t imagine Dimma leaving a highly successful place where he’s been for such a long time and making it part of his brand for someone different…or can you?

(5) Mick Malthouse

The former Carlton coach could really add what he brought to the table at Princes Park to the Magpies.

It could be a really successful relationship.

(6) Eddie McGuire

Everyone knows that Eddie has thought about applying, probably under an alias, and reckons he could do the job.

Fantastic.

That’s the way.

Good on ya pal.

(7) Mark Williams

Everyone knows that Choco has been the difference since joining the Demons as an assistant this year.

The former Port Adelaide coach (and Collingwood captain) would be great at the job, the players will love him, he’s a brilliant coach…but like fetch, it’s not going to happen.

Perhaps Alan Scott was right?

(8) Jock McHale

With a record of 714 matches over 38 seasons with eight premierships, legendary Collingwood coach Jock McHale, for whom the be AFL Premiership coach medal is named after would be the perfect candidate…

Provided that Collingwood can resurrect him via hologram technology.

It’s not the most ridiculous idea.

#BringBackJock

(9) Robbo

Hard-hitting journo turns hard-hitting coach of Collingwood.

You would be able to tell how his team is fairing based on arm-waving and grunts between words.

Hopefully, there will be no need for Zoom press conferences should the Herald Sun’s chief footy writer/AFL 360 co-host take the job.

(10) Brett Kirk

Thanks Basil. I just want to give you a bit of an insight into the Collingwood team.

We’re a bunch of unique individuals – Pendlebury, DeGoey, Grundy, Mihocek, and myself.

We’re gonna engage with our minds and our hearts.

We’re gonna exchange ideas, thoughts and even our energy.

And to speak from your heart you need to have courage.

You need to be honest and authentic.

We’re not always gonna get it right.

And sometimes, you’re not going to agree with us.

But that’s okay, because just like you we care.

Just like you, we’re passionate about the game.

So if you want to come along for the ride, join us on Saturday arvos, because we just love the Magpies.

(11) Daniel Andrews

As best we can tell, the club is shut.

The Victorian Premier will not tolerate stuff that’s not appropriate and can’t be any clearer than that.

That’s your civic duty

That’s what’s most important

And that’s what must be done.

Andrews will lock down the club if there are more cases of losses and knows what it’s like to recover from a fall down only to rise up again.

Collingwood will ditch its sponsorship deal with Nike in favour of the North Face and after every Magpie win, they’ll GET ON THE BEERS.

(12) Nicky Buckley

Bucks can still be the coach of Collingwood, except its former Sale of the Century co-host Nicky Buckley.

Works for me.

Glenn Ridge can be Bucks’s assistant.

(13) Warwick Capper

CAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRR!!!

Who is to say the Sydney Swans/Brisbane Bears superstar with tight shorts and long blonde locks couldn’t be a great footy coach?

Alright, that’s good stuff.

(14) Dane Swan

Collingwood may not win a lot of games if their favorite son Swanny returned as coach, but it would be a destination club for the off-season.

Post-game drinks, nightclub drink cards, and footy trips will very much be back on the agenda at the Pies.

Footy is meant to be fun anyway.

(15) Laurie Holden

If club legend Laurie Holden is able to ensure that Collingwood can keep on winning games, and get Jock Riely off his back, perhaps he can keep his job at The Club.

Despite rumors that Rostov will be appointed coach next season, a man who has a reputation for treating his men like animals.

Provided that Holden can also address high-priced Tassie recruit Geoff Hayward’s form, where it is alleged that Haywood has been up his mum and his legless sister and he thinks he’s killed his old man!

(16) Kane Cornes

Cornes can coach the Magpies on the weekend and then bag himself out/call for himself to be sacked during the week on his various media commitments.

“AFL GREAT KANE CORNES SLAMS COLLINGWOOD COACH KANE CORNES.”

The articles just write themselves.

(17) David King

The North Melbourne great turned FOX Footy commentator needs to address the big issues at Collingwood.

What is their brand?

What do they stand for?

What is in their DNA?

(18) Maggie Beer

One of out left field, yet it just makes sense – Maggie to coach the Magpies.

Collingwood can go from potentially being cooked, with cooked books from their salary cap pressures to actual cookbooks.

The National treasure might just have a tasty recipe to make the premiership a cakewalk.

(19) Bryan Strachan

STRAUCHANIE!

The man is an absolute legend of the Collingwood Football Club and quite frankly, Strachanie could be captain-coach of the Magpies if Collingwood is brave enough to give this immortal of Australian sport the chance.

Dynasty starts with Strachanie.