Ross the boss ain’t worth it.

Ross the boss ain’t worth it.

GuyWhoLikesSport

Before we get into it, let’s play a little game of would you rather.

Would you rather a homeless couple or your parents achieve union in your bed?

Okay, great. Keep that answer in mind as I ask you the next one.

Would you rather whatever you answered up the top or watch Ross Lyon’s Saints in prime time against Brisbane this Friday night?

That’s a Sophie’s Choice if ever I’ve seen one.

A lot has been made this week of how much of an eyesore St Kilda’s win against Gold Coast was. And it truly was an eyesore. My notes for the game included “this game sucks” and “someone had to win”.

 

But in general, it got me thinking about being bad in modern footy.

While I do think that St Kilda’s alleged list woes are enormously overblown and there is some real talent there, it’s a developmental team. They were always probably going to be average this season after a lucky finals run.

With that in mind, I just don’t think Ross Lyon is worth it.

If you’re going to be as average as St Kilda is, at least be entertaining.

If I’m making a TV show, isn’t it better to swing and possibly make something terrible but vaguely entertaining rather than all of the mid, forgettable shows that are just okay?

I’d rather have made The Idol, which was an abomination in an unforgettable way, than just slap together something as unambitious and boring as Poker Face. Modern TV has been focus grouped to death. Nothing is truly good because very few people have the space to make anything to take a swing and possibly make anything truly bad.

Ross Lyon is focus grouping himself to death.

While the Saints are only two games outside the eight and almost never get blown away, they’re one of the least entertaining teams in football. The Saints are 13th for metres per disposal, 13th for metres gained, but 6th for marks. They chip it around, limiting the damage with and without the ball.

They have certainly achieved limiting the damage with the ball as they sit 15th for scoring, 16th for shots, and 17th for scoring shots per inside 50.

They also limit opposition damage, to be fair to them, as the fourth stingiest defence in terms of scoring and the sixth best team and preventing goals per opposition inside 50s.

They’re a miserly defensive team who play with real defensive intent. Offensively, they’re inefficient, don’t score, and don’t take games on.

It’s the wrong kind of bad.

And it’s a feature not a bug.

Rohan Connolly found that across Ross Lyon’s 14 completed seasons only one Ross Lyon coached team finished better than seventh for points scored whereas he has had a top six defence nine times in his coaching career

After a Gold Coast game where one of my St Kilda supporting friends texted me, variously, “Sydney is the anti St Kilda” and “I’m fkn steaming”, Ross’ mates in media have turned it into a list issue at the Saints.

I’m not going to sit here and tell you we’re working with the cast of The Godfather here, but the St Kilda list is not as lacking in talent among midfielders and forwards it’s made out to be.

At the top end, Rowan Marshall and Jack Sinclair are All-Australian level players.

Brad Hill is still effective even if his short area quickness is still somewhat diminished. Jack Steele is still a valuable inside player.

The younger brigade, though, is where the real talent lies.

The best of them, at least in theory, is mid/fwd/ruck Mitch Owens who has every physical gift in the book but just needs a chance to use them. Marcus Windhager has shown himself to be an extremely handy tagger. Nasiah Wanganeen-Milera is a silky and extremely clever ball user. Darcy Wilson has shown both long and short speed and has been one of the best first year players this year.

Liam Henry is my personal favourite and, before his injury earlier in the year, was among the most watchable players in footy as a kind of forward half architect in the mould of a Brent Daniels type.

The list is not that bad. It just isn’t. The attacking players just aren’t allowed the freedom to attack.

You can tell they think damage limitation before damage infliction when the Saints force a turnover in midfield. The mindset isn’t to kill, it’s to make sure that they themselves are not killed. They’re like Mike McD in at the start of Rounders, they stopped playing cards.

Worm was bad for Mike McD in that film, but the Saints need a chaos agent who will force them to play some f**king cards.

Their mindset is killing Max King.

King isn’t a perfect forward by any stretch. He’s a poor kick for goal and does not get involved enough in bits of play that don’t involve him marking the ball and having a shot at goal, sitting 13th among all key forwards in score involvement percentage just behind Darcy Fogarty and Josh Treacy (23rd in score involvements per game, but the Saints score so infrequently I thought that was unfair). He also does not halve enough contests. In a 1 v 1 situation he either takes the mark or his opponent does. He isn’t competitive enough.

But he is a target.

A great deal of the AFL would kill to have him as their spearhead.

It’s the Saints slow, methodical ball use that makes everything hard. While their ball use to King is often poor, the lack of speed on the ball hurts them at both ends.

When a team is flowing and playing with momentum like Sydney and even Hawthorn do, defences are forced to stretch and defend more space, opening leading lanes up for forwards. The Saints constant constricting of themselves and playing up the lines means everything is easily restrained. It’s harder to hit targets, you’re under constant pressure, and there’s no space to work with. That affects both forwards and midfielders.

I know that this is what Ross Lyon is. But would you rather have had the Saints last 18 months, with a finals trip and a slow but competitive first half of the year playing dull football or Hawthorn’s last 18 months? The Hawks finished 16th last year but tried, every week, to take the game on and now have won four from five playing the sort of enterprising footy that has the footy world talking, with a list that is at best on par with St Kilda.

Give me the Hawks.

This is an entertainment product. Ross Lyon has never got that memo.

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