2022 Neds NFL Mock Draft

2022 Neds NFL Mock Draft

James Caughlin

NFL circles are abuzz in the build up to the 2022 NFL Draft as the experts and casual observers prepare their last minute mock drafts ahead of Friday morning’s first round.

For some the late changes will be the product of overanalysing Youtube highlights on a player for their 147th edition since early December, others just like to throw darts at a moving target to see who goes were.

The Neds team has done its own research, going over the stats, watching the game tape (which is all digital now so why call it tape?) and come up with the one and only decisive mock draft you need.

Our 2021 NFL Mock Draft went 32 for 32 in the first round so you can trust that these completely legitimate selections will be 100% accurate.

1 – Jacksonville Jaguars

PICK: A Future Draft Bust

Are we sure the new Jaguars front office lead by Trent Baalke isn’t going to do something stupid like taking a quarterback?

Either way, the chances of them taking a guy who will be successful are greatly diminished by pretty much the entire history of the Jags franchise.

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2 – Detroit Lions

PICK: Someone you will forget is in the league by Week 5

Until they get traded to one of the marquee franchises in about four seasons and goes on to have a very successful career.

3 – Houston Texans

PICK: The Future Rights to Peyton Manning’s Nephew

After a brief flirtation with relevance in the early to mid 2010’s, the Texans are firmly back in the bottom tier of the NFL after the team has been torn down to the studs.

They’re a long way from being anything close to competent so why not try and put a lay by on a quarterback who won’t be eligible for the league for a few years yet.

Actually the current version of Arch could get them a few wins & he’s still dealing with acne.

4 – New York Jets

PICK: Someone who wishes they went fifth instead

If you’re going to play for one of the New York named teams, wouldn’t you prefer it to be the Giants?

5 – New York Giants

PICK: A player about to be very disappointed when he finds out they play in New Jersey

Despite being named the “New York” Giants, both they and the Jets have their training base and stadium across state lines in the Garden State of New Jersey.

One fan is at least trying to solve the most blatant case of false advertising since Lionel Hutz’s lawsuit against the film The Never Ending Story.

6 – Carolina Panthers

PICK: A companion for the mascot

Week 1 saw Carolina debut this equal parts terrifying and amazing VR mascot in stadium and the only thing missing was a second panther with glowing eyes and muscle definition that would make some of the players feel a bit self conscious.

7 – New York Giants

PICK: An agent from the Men in Black

Not for anything to do with alien life forms in the Meadowlands, just to erase the last couple of years having to deal with Joe Judge.

 

8 – Atlanta Falcons

PICK: Hopefully someone who can teach them how to hold on to a lead

It might be a cheap shot to keep bringing up the Falcons inability to hold a lead but we’ll stop making those jokes when they stop being funny.

With the trade of Matt Ryan, the Falcons will be desperate to begin a new era and they will be hoping it will see them getting over the hump.

9 – Seattle Seahawks

PICK: Fraser Crane

Not for their playing roster, but he’d make one hell of a PA announcer and team radio host.

10 – New York Jets

PICK: A player the fans will hate

Notorious for relentlessly booing whoever their team takes, Jets fans will be making their voices heard on the Strip this weekend.

Who should they have taken instead?

Literally anyone else according to the experts in gang green who are several drinks deep.

11 – Washington Commanders

PICK: A Better Team Name

After all of that build up, two years of going by the kind of cool name of “Football Team” Washington once again let down the NFL world by going for the incredibly boring nickname of “Commanders” with some pretty shoddy uniforms to boot.

12 – Minnesota Vikings

PICK: Anyone to help on defence

Just find someone who can make a tackle!

13 – Houston Texans

PICK: New Ownership

It’s safe to say that the McNair family, who brought the team to Houston for the 2002 season, are not the most popular people in the city.

14 – Baltimore Ravens

PICK: An anger management therapist

It can’t be good for John Harbaugh to go through life that tense.

15 – Philadelphia Eagles

PICK: Someone who wishes it was 2017

Remember when the Eagles won the Super Bowl?

16 – New Orleans Saints

PICK: Adam Sandler

The Saints hype videos are about to take a wacky turn as Adam Sandler heads to the Bayou.

He’s already in with the franchise after making a movie about former coach Sean Payton

17 – Los Angeles Chargers

PICK: A PR Agent

Did you know the Chargers moved to Los Angeles a few years ago?

The people of LA sure don’t with Chargers games normally populated by fans of the opposing team happy to have a holiday on the west coast.

18 – Philadelphia Eagles

PICK: Joel Embiid

The 76ers rebuild looks like it’s going to fizzle out so why not use the draft to execute a cross town move for the gigantic center from the basketball team.

He’s got enough personality for an entire 53 man roster.

19 – New Orleans Saints

PICK: A Really Good Agent for Sean Payton

Did you hear the Dolphins were hoping to recruit the now retired former Saints head coach?

Apparently Payton will be spending 2022 doing media work (something he may well excel at) so the Saints would be well served to get him an agent that keeps him in the studio and off the Dolphins sideline.

20 – Pittsburgh Steelers

PICK: Someone that majored in history

Did you know the Steelers have won six Super Bowl titles?

It’s been a while and they’re about to embark on the post Big Ben era with plenty of uncertainty.

It might be worth bringing someone on board that can remind them of happier times.

21 – New England Patriots

PICK: Someone nobody has ever heard of

Bill Belichick has made a habit of going outside the box for his draft selections, so with plenty of holes to fill on his roster, what will he do?

Probably take a special teams player out of North Idaho State Community College or something like that.

And just watch as every draft expert loves it while they frantically search for the player bio.

22 – Green Bay Packers

PICK: Their next quarterback

Aaron Rodgers came back for one more year to compete for a title, Jordan Love has failed to impress and they traded one of the best receivers away.

So rather than get him a guy who can contribute this year, why not select his replacement just to twist the knife even further.

23 – Arizona Cardinals

PICK: Nobody more photogenic than head coach Kliff Kingsbury

The Arizona Cardinals head coach might be chasing his first playoff win in the NFL, but it won’t be with a guy who can get more Instagram likes than him.

Maybe he’ll let the rookie stay with him in his palace though.

24 – Dallas Cowboys

PICK: Jerry Jones’s Grandchild

It’s all in the family for the owner right?

25 – Buffalo Bills

PICK: A lifetime supply of breakable tables

2021 was the Bills best season in decades, and the fans were back in action at Ralph Wilson Stadium (or whatever its called now).

As long as Josh Allen is around they’ll be in the mix so they’d better stock up on those tables.

26 – Tennessee Titans

PICK: Someone to handle warm ups

Does this sort of stuff really fall under the purview of the head coach in Tennessee?

27 – Tampa Bay Buccaneers

PICK: A rookie Tom Brady will hate by the end of May

In his 22 seasons in the NFL, how many rookies has Brady actually liked?

28 – Green Bay Packers

PICK: Someone coming off a major injury

They’re set at QB after taking the next guy at 22, so why not take someone who will have no impact in 2022 but can help them out long term.

29 – Kansas City Chiefs

PICK: Someone Fast

They got rid of Tyreek Hill and we know Andy Reid feels the need for speed.

Sure the guy may not be able to separate from defenders or catch the ball when its thrown to him but he can run REALLY fast and that’s all that matters.

30 – Kansas City Chiefs

PICK: A Social Media Manager for JuJu Smith-Schuster

Full time Tik-Tok personality and occasional NFL receiver JuJu Smith-Schuster has made headlines for his non-stop posting and social media inspired dance celebrations.

Now he has signed with Kansas City and he has a chance to team up with the most unbearable hanger on in the NFL, Jackson Mahomes, Patrick’s brother.

31 – Cincinnati Bengals

PICK: A guy who is about to be bitterly disappointed

Everyone loved the Bengals run to the Super Bowl last season and they were a lot of fun to watch with the likes of Joe Burrow and Ja’Marr Chase leading the way.

History is not on the Bengals side however and there’s a decent chance that their run last year was as good as it gets.

Especially with notoriously cheap owner Mike Brown unlikely to pay out on big contracts for all of their young guys.

32 – Detroit Lions

PICK: Nobody

The only way the Lions will have pick 32 anytime soon is if they receive it in a trade (like this year) or the NFL contracts down to 30 teams.

They’ll want to make the most of the opportunity to draft at the end of the first round.