2021 Neds NFL Mock Draft

NFL circles are abuzz with people frantically putting together their last minute mock drafts ahead of Friday morning’s first round.

For some it will be an overanalysed 147th edition since December, for others it will be the result of throwing darts at a moving target to see who will go where.

The Neds team has gone over the stats, watched the college game footage and come up with the ONLY NFL mock draft you need.

1 – Jacksonville Jaguars

PICK: A Future Backup QB for the LA Rams

How can you screw up a sure thing with the first overall pick?

Allow us to introduce you to the Jaguars.

2 – New York Jets

PICK: Who cares, they’ll ruin the poor kid’s career

The poor kid is going to get booed before he can put the Jets cap on his head.

3 – San Francisco 49ers

PICK: A QB who will hopefully not get assassinated by Kyle Shanahan

“Let’s get rid of the guy who took us to the Super Bowl less than 18 months ago for a kid just out of college, what could go wrong?” – Kyle Shannahan (I assume).

Seriously, is the guy planning on murdering someone this weekend?

4 – Atlanta Falcons

PICK: Hopefully someone who can teach them how to hold on to a lead

Yeah, I know, it was a cheap shot, but the Falcons lost a lot of games last year, hence why they are picking here.

5 – Cincinnati Bengals

PICK: Someone who will be asking for a trade to an actual NFL team in 3 years

Notoriously cheap Bengals owner Mike Brown is going to suck the love of the game right out of this selection.

6 – Miami Dolphins

PICK: A player who will REALLY enjoy Miami’s nightlife

With things returning to normal, this selection is going to be in for a real treat, getting to go to Miami and spend their early 20’s on the glitter strip.

7 – Detroit Lions

PICK: A future free agent that will have more coaches than teammates in 3 years

Some say that Detroit is where NFL careers go to die and looking at the fortunes of the franchise, it’s kind of hard to argue otherwise.

8 – Carolina Panthers

PICK: Unreasonable expectations

Panthers owner David Tepper is not interested in a gradual rebuild, we’re pretty sure he’s targeting a Super Bowl this year…

9 – Denver Broncos

PICK: Peyton Manning

He’s the only good QB that John Elway has been able to bring to Denver so why not try him out again?

10 – Dallas Cowboys

PICK: Jerry Jones’s Grandchild

It’s all in the family for the owner right?

11 – New York Giants

PICK: A guy just relieved he didn’t go to the Jets

If you had to go play for the New York teams (who actually play out of New Jersey), there’s only one good option.

12 – Philadelphia Eagles

PICK: Someone who wishes it was 2017

Remember when the Eagles won the Super Bowl?

13 – LA Chargers

PICK: A lawyer to help them get out of LA

It seemed like a blessing in disguise, the Chargers getting out of their rundown stadium in San Diego and moving into the Rams palace in LA.

Sadly no one in Los Angeles has seemed to notice.

14 – Minnesota Vikings

PICK: Anyone to help on defence

Just find someone who can make a tackle!

15 – New England Patriots

PICK: Someone nobody has ever heard of

Bill Belichick has made a habit of going outside the box for his draft selections, so with his team in desperate need of a quarterback this season, what will he do?

Probably take a special teams player out of North Idaho State Community College or something like that.

And Mel Kiper will love it!

16 – Arizona Cardinals

PICK: Nobody more photogenic than head coach Kliff Kingsbury

The Arizona Cardinals head coach might be chasing his first playoff berth in the NFL, but it won’t be with a guy who can get more Instagram likes than him.

Maybe he’ll let the rookie stay with him in his palace though.

17 – Las Vegas Raiders

PICK: Whoever was the least squeamish during pre-Draft meetings with Jon Gruden

The real life Chuckie doll lookalike can be a little intense from time to time.

Not to mention he did some weird things during his TV career with rookie QB’s.

18 – Miami Dolphins

PICK: Same as Pick 6

Seriously, living in Miami most of the year as a professional athlete, jackpot!

19 – Washington Football Team

PICK: A new PR firm

Between trying to rename the team and the scandals around the front office, Washington could use a total rebrand.

20 – Chicago Bears

PICK: Anyone to make the fans forget about Trubisky

Remember when the Bears decided he was a better option than Patrick Mahomes?

21 – Indianapolis Colts

PICK: Someone who can party with Jim Irsay

The Colts owner is a bit of a loose unit after inheriting the team from his Dad.

He definitely had the over in this game though.

I can only imagine that whoever they do draft will need to know how to rock out when asked to.

22 – Tennessee Titans

PICK: Someone to handle warm ups

Does this sort of stuff really fall under the purview of the head coach in Tennessee?

23 – New York Jets

PICK: Someone who wishes they went to Seattle

The Seahawks sent this pick in exchange for Jamaal Adams and the draft pick will be left to wonder “what it” for their whole career.

24 – Pittsburgh Steelers

PICK: A Social Media Manager for JuJu Smith-Schuster

Full time Tik-Tok personality and occasional NFL receiver JuJu Smith-Schuster made headlines for his non-stop posting and social media inspired dance celebrations.

It did also put a target on his back on the field though.

25 – Jacksonville Jaguars

PICK: A guy who wishes the Rams kept this pick

Sean McVay really hates picking in the first round, so he’ll just let everyone else have a go.

26 – Cleveland Browns

PICK: Vontae Mack

Vontae Mack no matter what.

27 – Baltimore Ravens

PICK: An anger management therapist

It can’t be good for John Harbaugh to go through life that tense.

28 – New Orleans Saints

PICK: Whoever is the cheapest option

The Saints credit card approach to the salary has come back to bite them this offseason.

29 – Green Bay Packers

PICK: Someone to keep Aaron Rodgers happy

Shots were fired with last year’s selection of Jordan Love in the first round.

They may want to try and placate Aaron Rodgers a bit with this selection.

30 – Buffalo Bills

PICK: A lifetime supply of breakable tables

Fans will be back in the NFL’s stadiums this season, so you know the Bills fans are going to go off in Week 1.

31 – Baltimore Ravens

PICK: A last minute panicked selection

Hey they only got this pick a week ago, can you blame them?

32 – Tampa Bay Buccaneers

PICK: A rookie Tom Brady will hate by the end of May

In his 21 seasons in the NFL, how many rookies has Brady actually liked?