8 Reasons Why Novak Djokovic is a Flog

In light of Novak Djokovic’s stunning vaccination exemption into the 2022 Australian Open, we here at the Neds brains trust have decided to dive into a few reasons why the sour Serb is left off most people’s Christmas card lists.

1. Antivax Exemption

In an extraordinary development, Covid-19’s largest advocate has somehow weaseled his way into the 2022 Australian Open!

Aus Open organisers alongside the Victorian government, have dished the Australian public a huge slap across the face, putting a tennis player’s search for glory above the basic freedom of their own people!

We wouldn’t be surprised to find footage of the super-spreading Serb doing the macarena through Federation Square come January 20.


2. Throat Crushing Blow!

After missing out on a couple of break point opportunities in the first set of his match against Pablo Carreno at the 2020 US Open, the sooky Serb decide to send an underarm throat-seeking rocket straight at an unsuspecting lineswoman!

With a Karen-esque performance from the US official, we’re expecting Djoker’s lawyers to have their hands full here.

3. Causing a racquet!

Back in 2016 the Silly Serb was at it again, recklessly flinging his racquet towards a fleet foot lines-person!

On this occasion he was fortunate enough to miss, although most of the damage was done in his post-match presser!

4. Djoker’s Covid Open.

In an attempt to boost his philanthropic profile the Silly Serb created the Adria Tour Tournament held across Serbia, Croatia, Montenegro, and Bosnia and Herzegovina during the height of the COVID-19 crisis.

Unsurprisingly, just about every player at the event including Novak himself contracted COVID-19, with scenes of topless partying and zero social distancing protocols did nothing to quell his flog status.

5. He is not Roger Federer.

As much as the stubborn Serb tries, he’ll never as genuine, charming, handsome or as loveable as the legendary Fed Express and to be honest it’s just cringeworthy watching him try.

    Not Roger
..nOt Federer
adVantage Fed
.oK, but not great.

6. Makes Kyrgios look like less of a flog.

It’s no easy feat making Nick look like a model citizen, but the scandalous Serb has managed just that!

Kyrgios’ twitter triad against the Slippery Serbian is the gift that keeps on giving.

7. Fake Persona

The Sulky Serbian carries on like a two-bob watch on the court, abusing himself, fans and officials, then off the court he’s throwing out more love and cuddles than Oprah Winfrey at her peak.

Just embrace the title of ‘Super Serb Villain’ and run with it mate.

8. He’s probably going to surpass Nadal and Federer to eventually claim GOAT status.

Fed is and may very well always be the GOAT of the people, but when it comes to the pure unbiased unadulterated stats the Djoker looks set to fly past the Swiss maestro’s record.

The Shifty Serb has already won more Masters Titles than the Fed Express, has a higher overall winning percentage, and is now equaled Fed’s 20 Glad Slams, despite being 6 years his junior!