{"id":89272,"date":"2026-08-12T08:54:05","date_gmt":"2026-08-11T22:54:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.neds.com.au\/blog\/?p=89272"},"modified":"2026-08-12T08:54:06","modified_gmt":"2026-08-11T22:54:06","slug":"the-afls-you-dont-want-to-play-these-blokes-rankings","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.neds.com.au\/blog\/2026\/08\/the-afls-you-dont-want-to-play-these-blokes-rankings\/","title":{"rendered":"The AFL’s \u2018You\u00a0Don\u2019t\u00a0Want to Play These Blokes\u2019 Rankings\u00a0"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

The AFL is probably the most prolific upward failer in the world. At least right next to the mostly annoying and probable sociopath Ryan Reynolds.<\/a> <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here, with the wildcard tournament, they\u2019ve done it again. They\u2019ve copied the NBA\u2019s homework but without any of the nuance of the NBA\u2019s play-in tournament, and in the process robbed us of what would have been an exciting race for seventh and eighth over the last fortnight and an essentially set – barring a miracle – top 10. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

But, as is always the way, they look\u00a0like\u00a0they\u2019re\u00a0going to luck into\u00a0a bloody good\u00a0result.\u00a0They\u2019re\u00a0careening toward a Collingwood v Carlton wildcard game in the first year of this nakedly profit driven and tournament integrity corrosive concept.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Good on them, I guess.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

What they have done, though, is accidentally created the \u201cYou don\u2019t want to play these blokes\u201d cup with these wildcard games. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, with the four wildcard teams probably set, who are the top-6 teams most keen to see the back of?<\/a> <\/p>\n\n\n\n

1. Geelong\u00a0<\/strong>\u00a0<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Even though the Blues have won 10 out of their last 12, there\u2019s nobody that\u2019s striking more fear into the top-6 teams than the Cats.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

They\u2019re lurking in that top wildcard seed like Freddie Krueger waiting for Glen to fall asleep.<\/a> This is not a great Cats team by any stretch of the imagination, but since they gave up on trying to play the one-armed Jeremy Cameron in round 19, the Cats are 4-0 and have scored over 97 every week including wins over Melbourne and Collingwood.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

In that period, they\u2019re the league\u2019s best front half team both in terms of scoring and time, best turnover scoring team, and third best metres gained team.<\/a>  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The ability to lock the ball in their front half and punish teams is second to none. With injuries to Dangerfield and Cameron recently, their murderers\u2019 row of half forwards recently bolstered by the good touch of Ollie Wiltshire and the back in form Gryan Miers and Shaun Mannagh makes this a profoundly democratic forward line , with over 8 people kicking a goal per game.<\/a>  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Cats are versatile, athletic, have a clear profile, and have the best record against top-6 teams in the AFL.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The only people less excited to see them than their week 1 opponent would be the AFL when they have to tell the public that Geelong\u2019s breaking of the rules has resulted in the most minor of slaps on the wrist. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

2. Carlton<\/strong>\u00a0<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

There is no bigger story in the AFL than Fraser\u2019s Blues.<\/a>  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I don\u2019t know if it\u2019s the caretaker\u2019s luck or if Fraser has staying power, but he has transformed the way the Blues play. Over the last 10 games, the Blues are among the league\u2019s best transition teams, the league\u2019s leading marking team, and are one of the lowest stoppage teams in footy.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Fraser\u2019s Blues keep the ball in motion at basically all costs.<\/a> That\u2019s a stark departure from Michael Voss\u2019 contest heavy approach, and it\u2019s driven a 10-2 record over the last 12. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s been driven by truly outrageous improvement across the board. Some, like getting games into players like Billy Wilson and Harry Dean<\/a>, was to be expected.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

But improvement from the veterans has been extraordinary. It\u2019s been like a team full of Jamie Vardys going from Sunday League to Premier League in the space of two years.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

A former list clogger like Adam Cerra looked like he was doing a Joe Burrow impression with the turkey hole kicks he hit against St Kilda on Sunday night. Harry McKay can\u2019t seem to miss at the minute, in probably the biggest indicator of caretaker luck possible.<\/a> Even the notorious butcher of the ball Ollie Florent was doing surgery by foot.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Whether it\u2019s sustainable isn\u2019t the point of this column. Carlton\u2019s skills are razor sharp, they\u2019re confident, and they\u2019re buoyed by a wave of momentum. If you cop them at the MCG as a top-6 team, be ready for a hostile environment. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

3. Collingwood\u00a0<\/strong>\u00a0<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

I just don\u2019t think Collingwood is much good.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I don\u2019t.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

But I can\u2019t escape what I see. Driven by Nick Daicos in the midst of what will almost certainly be his first Brownlow year and Dan McStay somehow, the Pies are 4-1 over their last five.<\/a> <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nobody would mistake the Pies for a deep team, but they do have the best system in the competition.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s that system, along with Daicos, that is terrifying.<\/a> The Pies are generally very hard to score against defensively because they get across and help so well. They\u2019re also somehow scoring 95 points a game over the last five because, in part, of McStay\u2019s form but more broadly because of the way they keep the ground long, basically so Nick can pick the eyes out of a 1v1 with one of his 5.2 kicks inside 50 per game, which he\u2019s doing a league-leading 65% of the time.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you stop Daicos, you stop Collingwood. But I guess that\u2019s like saying if you stop Hitler at Munich, you stop WWII. It\u2019s a lot easier to say than to do. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

4. Western Bulldogs<\/strong>\u00a0<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

The Bulldogs are like a worse version of Collingwood.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The only reason you\u2019d be worried about them is because you\u2019re a subscriber to the great man theory history, but the Dogs\u2019 great man is clearly playing hurt and the team doesn\u2019t have the kind of system to support him. <\/a> <\/p>\n\n\n\n

A week after trying to flood against Fremantle, but without the ensuing rebound that made their flood earlier in the year fairly effective, the Bulldogs were taken apart by North Melbourne\u2019s direct ball movement.<\/a>  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

More worryingly though, the Dogs couldn\u2019t score themselves against the worst defence in the AFL at North Melbourne.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

They don\u2019t seem to have a system they can reliably fall back on like they have in years past in either attack or defence, and they\u2019ve spent the back part of the year looking lost after starting the year looking like a true contender. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

If they get through their wildcard game, which feels unlikely, you\u2019d be overjoyed to get them in week 1 of the finals. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The AFL is probably the most prolific upward failer in the world. At least right next to the mostly annoying and probable sociopath Ryan Reynolds.  Here, with the wildcard tournament, they\u2019ve done it again. They\u2019ve copied the NBA\u2019s homework but without any of the nuance of the NBA\u2019s play-in tournament, and in the process robbed us of what would have been an exciting race for seventh and eighth over the last fortnight and an essentially set – barring a miracle – top 10.  But, as is always the way, they look\u00a0like\u00a0they\u2019re\u00a0going to luck into\u00a0a bloody good\u00a0result.\u00a0They\u2019re\u00a0careening toward a Collingwood v Carlton wildcard game in the first year…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":37,"featured_media":89273,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[7,8298],"tags":[],"hub_post_cat":[],"class_list":["post-89272","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-australian-rules","category-guywholikessport"],"acf":{"md_tip_date":"","md_tip_date_end":"","md_market_url":"","tip_date":"12\/08\/2026","event_country":"Australia"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.neds.com.au\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/89272","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.neds.com.au\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.neds.com.au\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.neds.com.au\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/37"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.neds.com.au\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=89272"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.neds.com.au\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/89272\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":89274,"href":"https:\/\/www.neds.com.au\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/89272\/revisions\/89274"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.neds.com.au\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/89273"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.neds.com.au\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=89272"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.neds.com.au\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=89272"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.neds.com.au\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=89272"},{"taxonomy":"hub_post_cat","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.neds.com.au\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/hub_post_cat?post=89272"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}