{"id":34075,"date":"2021-10-06T11:42:25","date_gmt":"2021-10-06T01:42:25","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.neds.com.au\/blog\/?p=34075"},"modified":"2021-10-06T13:39:01","modified_gmt":"2021-10-06T03:39:01","slug":"revealed-englands-ashes-tour-hub-demands","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.neds.com.au\/blog\/2021\/10\/revealed-englands-ashes-tour-hub-demands\/","title":{"rendered":"REVEALED: England&#8217;s Ashes Tour Hub Demands"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>After much speculation that it might be canceled, this summer&#8217;s Ashes series is set to go ahead with the ECB and Joe Root set to give the green light to going ahead with the tour. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-rich is-provider-twitter wp-block-embed-twitter\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\">\n<iframe src=\"https:\/\/platform.twitter.com\/embed\/Tweet.html?id=1445521423913533444&#038;dnt=true&#038;lang=en_AU&#038;width=500&#038;origin=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.neds.com.au%2Fblog%2F2021%2F10%2Frevealed-englands-ashes-tour-hub-demands%2F\" scrolling=\"no\" sandbox=\"allow-scripts allow-same-origin allow-popups allow-popups-to-escape-sandbox\" loading=\"lazy\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" style=\"border:0;\" title=\"X Post\"><\/iframe>\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>However, it comes at a cost after Joe Root and his men made a certain list of demands and the Australian government\/Cricket Australia caving into them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-rich is-provider-twitter wp-block-embed-twitter\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\">\n<iframe src=\"https:\/\/platform.twitter.com\/embed\/Tweet.html?id=1445529816623505414&#038;dnt=true&#038;lang=en_AU&#038;width=500&#038;origin=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.neds.com.au%2Fblog%2F2021%2F10%2Frevealed-englands-ashes-tour-hub-demands%2F\" scrolling=\"no\" sandbox=\"allow-scripts allow-same-origin allow-popups allow-popups-to-escape-sandbox\" loading=\"lazy\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" style=\"border:0;\" title=\"X Post\"><\/iframe>\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>Our investigative journalism unit here at Neds, which has uncovered nothing and won zero awards in the past can&nbsp;<strong>EXCLUSIVELY REVEAL<\/strong>&nbsp;just what England players have been&nbsp;<strong>DEMANDING&nbsp;<\/strong>in the hubs while down-under, and you won\u2019t believe what these primadonnas have been asking for! <\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Joe Root <\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>The English Test captain played hardball to get the Ashes over the line and most certainly had the upper hand at the negotiations if this list of demands is anything to go by&#8230; <\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-rich is-provider-twitter wp-block-embed-twitter\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\">\n<iframe src=\"https:\/\/platform.twitter.com\/embed\/Tweet.html?id=1445525366831915017&#038;dnt=true&#038;lang=en_AU&#038;width=500&#038;origin=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.neds.com.au%2Fblog%2F2021%2F10%2Frevealed-englands-ashes-tour-hub-demands%2F\" scrolling=\"no\" sandbox=\"allow-scripts allow-same-origin allow-popups allow-popups-to-escape-sandbox\" loading=\"lazy\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" style=\"border:0;\" title=\"X Post\"><\/iframe>\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>Root&#8217;s demands for his room and set-up in the hub simply has to be seen to be believed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>Each room must be draped. Black drapes are fine.<br>The entry door should open into the living room space, not the dressing room.<br>The temperature should be about 23.889 degrees.<br>1 Three Seat Couch \u2014 Plain colour, no busy patterns; black, dark grey, cream, dark pink are fine<br>12 1 Liters of Fiji Water<br>3 Bottles Chardonnay \u2014 Chilled<br>12 Coke<br>12 Diet Coke<br>12 Vanilla Protein Drinks<br>6 Sparkling Water (Pellegrino)<br>12 Melon Flavor Gatorade<br>6 Red Wine Glasses<br>6 White Wine Glasses<br>4 Joe Malone Vanilla Candles<br>2 Vases White Roses<br>Fried Chicken (warm)<br>12 Small Bottles water (room temperature)<br>3 Whole lemons and honey<br>Sugarless gum<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Ben Stokes<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Stokes is making life HELL for his army of PAs that would give legendary supermodel Naomi Campbell a run for her money. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image is-resized\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/pbs.twimg.com\/media\/FAbw2U1VkAAoTH3?format=jpg&amp;name=medium\" alt=\"Image\" width=\"321\" height=\"228\"\/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>Here&#8217;s what the England ODI captain is demanding once he sets foot in Australia. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>6 Bottles of Louis Roederer Cristal Champagne<br>3 Bottles of French Vintage red wine (e.g. St Emilion, Medoc, Bordeaux)<br>3 Bottles of French Vintage white wine (e.g. Sancerre, Pouilly Fuisse)<br>2 Dozen Findeclare or Colchester Oysters on ice (unopened)\u2014(Ben does his own shucking.)<br>2 Sashimi and Sushi platters for 8 people<br>6 Fresh lemons<br>1 Bottle of Tabasco sauce<\/em><br><em>1 Fresh fruit platter for 8 people<br>6 Bottles of Coca Cola<br>12 Bottles of still and sparkling water<br>12 Bottles of fresh fruit juices<br>Wine glasses, champagne flutes, tumblers (all glass, no plastic)<br>Cutlery and sharp knife<br>1 Oyster knife<br>1 Make up mirror (no neon strip lighting, only opaque white bulbs)<br>Fresh towels, clothes hangers, clothes rail<br>3-4 Bunches of flowers\u2014prefer lilys and orchids<br>Sofa and armchairs<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>James<\/strong> &#8220;<strong>Jimmy&#8221; Anderson <\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>England&#8217;s fast bowling, record-breaking wicket-taker is leading quite the rock &#8216;n roll lifestyle with these completely OUTRAGEOUS demands and insistence on using the imperial measurement system. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image is-resized\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/cdn.images.express.co.uk\/img\/dynamic\/68\/590x\/James-Anderson-Cricket-england-852080.jpg\" alt=\"England v West Indies: James Anderson demolishes tourists in victory |  Cricket | Sport | Express.co.uk\" width=\"265\" height=\"157\"\/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p><em>25-pound<\/em> dumbbells<br><em>24-Diet Coke 16oz plastic bottles<br>12 Diet Coke 12oz cans<br>6 Verner ginger ale soda (or Schweppes)<br>48 Dasani, Poland Spring 12oz bottles \u201cNO EVIAN\u201d<\/em><br><em>1 Loaf of white bread<br>1 Loaf wheat bread<br>6 Lunchables snacks (3 turkeys &amp; 3 ham with cheese)<br>6 Cans Red Bull<br>16 Cans Sugar-Free Red Bull<br>Large fresh jumbo shrimps with cocktail sauce and plenty of lemons<br>1 Jar of banana pepper rings<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Johnny Bairstow<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>What Bairstow wants.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Bairstow gets.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image is-resized\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/images.newindianexpress.com\/uploads\/user\/imagelibrary\/2021\/9\/2\/w900X450\/Jonny_Bairstow_AP.jpg?w=400&amp;dpr=2.6\" alt=\"Jonny Bairstow needs to deliver with big innings: Former England captain  Nasser Hussain- The New Indian Express\" width=\"368\" height=\"184\"\/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p><em>Nuts<br>Pretzels<br>M&amp;MS (<strong>WARNING: ABSOLUTELY NO BROWN ONES<\/strong>)<br>1 large tube of KY jelly<br>3 packs of Marlboro cigarettes (box \u2013 for my mates)<br>Herring in sour cream<br>2 gallons non-carbonated, bottled spring water<br>3 fifths Jack Daniels Black Label bourbon<br>2 fifths Stolichnaya vodka<br>1 pint Southern Comfort<br>2 bottles Blue Nun white wine<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Jos Butler <\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Want the goss on Jos? <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Here&#8217;s what the England vice-captain and best ODI\/T20 player is demanding.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image is-resized\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/media.gq-magazine.co.uk\/photos\/5d13ac6e533a23b142c639a3\/master\/pass\/joss-buttler-04-gq-10jun19_b.jpg\" alt=\"Jos Buttler interview: 'England are full of confidence... our preparation  couldn't have been better' | British GQ | British GQ\" width=\"309\" height=\"206\"\/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p><em>200-person entourage<\/em><br><em>2 international phone lines<br>His backstage room must look exactly like his own home (that means he ships around his furniture)<br>Special flower-scented fabric<br>Actual flowers<br>A personal chef who prepares only vegan foods<br>His own dry-cleaning service7 sets of metal silverware<br>1 Lighter<br>3 Glade Candles (French Vanilla, Rainshower, Wild Berry, Tangerine Ginger)<br>3 Cans of Chunk White Tuna<br>10 Nutri-Grain Bars (Blueberry, Cherry, Apple, Strawberry)<br>6 Individual Packets of Quaker Oats Instant Oatmeal (Brown Sugar and Apple Cinnamon)<br>1 Assorted Fruit Platter with strawberries, seedless red grapes, bananas, mango, blueberries, cantaloupe and raspberries<br>2 Cases of beer (one imported and one domestic; brands preferred: Amstel Light, Corona, Bud, Bud Light or local beer)<br>3 menus for local seafood and Italian restaurants to order meals for Mr. and Mrs. Butler.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"author":18,"featured_media":34089,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[10,598],"tags":[3383,2835,22,3215,3370,5583,138,5585,6083,36,134],"hub_post_cat":[],"class_list":["post-34075","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-cricket","category-special-interest","tag-ashes","tag-australian-cricket-team","tag-cricket","tag-england-cricket","tag-english-cricket-team","tag-fake-news","tag-joe-root","tag-not-real","tag-piss-take","tag-special-interest","tag-the-ashes"],"acf":{"md_tip_date":null,"md_tip_date_end":null,"md_market_url":"","tip_date":"06\/10\/2021","event_country":"Australia"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.neds.com.au\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/34075","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.neds.com.au\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.neds.com.au\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.neds.com.au\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/18"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.neds.com.au\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=34075"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.neds.com.au\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/34075\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.neds.com.au\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/34089"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.neds.com.au\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=34075"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.neds.com.au\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=34075"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.neds.com.au\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=34075"},{"taxonomy":"hub_post_cat","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.neds.com.au\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/hub_post_cat?post=34075"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}