Mid-Season Report Card
With teams having either nine or 10 games left to play over the remaining 11 weeks of the season, it is time to assess how every team has gone in 2024 relative to expectations.
Brisbane (C)
Hugely disappointing season following on from last year’s blown Grand Final.
Been second faves most of the season but sit seventh with a 7-7 record and the seventh best defence.
Despite dropping three straight, they should make finals and can get hot but disappointing so far.
Canberra (B)
Picked by many to run last so to have seven wins is certainly a major overachievement.
They have made their bones beating bad teams, going 5-2 against bottom six teams and 2-6 v Top 8 teams.
The fifth worst defence, limited-upside coaching and almost no roster talent are the big concerns.
Canterbury (A)
The Bulldogs are enjoying their best season in nearly a decade, after a slow start, they have risen to sixth on the ladder.
Most notable has been an improvement in their defence, from an historically bad one last season to second best this year.
Plenty of injuries but Ciraldo has got close to finding the optimal team.
Cronulla (A)
Once again have benefited from an obscenely easy draw.
Any judge picking them to miss the eight clearly doesn’t do any research.
Had some poor losses to the Tigers and the Eels but have tended to win the games they should.
Well-coached and steady and are in place to finish Top 4.
Dolphins (A+)
Wayne Bennett has once-again done an outstanding job with the newest NRL club, having them in fifth.
Player development has been outstanding (Bostock, Katoya, Plath) as has been instilling a culture of hardwork above all.
Not a genuine title contender but look primed for their maiden finals berth.
Gold Coast (C-)
The Titans will be terribly disappointed to be 15th with a 4-10 record but Hasler has certainly started to get things right after their historic 66-6 demolition of the Warriors.
Injuries to key players Brimson/Fifita/Campbell have left them undermanned most of the season.
Take away first month and they have generally shown fight.
Manly (C)
The genius Anthony Seibold clearly never spent much time doing the basic maths for what is needed to make the finals.
Despite three wins against Top 4 opposition, Manly are 10th thanks to four losses and a draw against teams outside the Top 8.
Another coach with no plan after “throw it to Turbo” and the Brooks signing/use has been laughable.
Melbourne (A)
Despite having their star spine all available for just four of 14 games, the Storm sit atop the ladder.
Along with the Roosters they are the only team to have a top four attack and defence.
The Storm have gone 6-2 in close games so regression could be coming but they are going as well as anyone.
Newcastle (C-)
Totally limited team who have played to expectations.
Wins over the Storm and Dolphins both had excuses for the losing team and they have topped 20 just three times all season.
Ponga was under-performing before his injury, their halves situation diabolical and there is zero plan in attack.
Going nowhere.
New Zealand (F)
The Warriors finished Top 4 last year and entered 2024 with huge expectations but they have been nothing short of diabolical.
Shaun Johnson has regressed, AFB is not trying, DWZ form way down and Egan been worked into the ground.
Defensive effort non-existent, not to mention lost to Titans twice including a record 66-6 loss on weekend.
North Queensland (C-)
No idea how the Cowboys are in the Top 8.
They have a bottom six defence and they have a five-game losing streak and three losses of 20-plus.
The talent is there though and they have the ability to run in big scores, topping 34 five times.
The coach is off with the players but they can win on raw talent.
Parramatta (F)
The Eels have been completely embarrassing this season, sitting last on the ladder with only four wins.
There have been some excuses with Moses and Gutherson missing extended time but club already sacked Arthur just to hand the team to Barrett.
So many frauds – Matterson, Campbell-Gillard, Sivo, Ofahengaue – eating up cap.
Awful ‘24.
Penrith (A)
Penrith just keep on doing Penrith things.
The injury to Nathan Cleary is obviously a concern but the Panthers have barely missed a beat, sitting second on the ladder with just four losses.
Their defence remains the standard.
They are also 5-0 in their last five against Top 8 teams.
St George Illawarra (B+)
Shane Flanagan has done an outstanding job in his first year with the Dragons.
They were the clear favourites to win the wooden spoon but are 7-7 and sit ninth.
They mix form but have wins over Penrith and Manly while he has got the most out of Lomax, Suli and his son.
Not a finals team but huge improvement.
South Sydney (C-)
The Rabbitohs were abhorrent to start the season but since the players got their wish and Demetriou got the bullet, the season has turned around.
Latrell Mitchell has been as good as anyone in the comp the last six weeks and Ben Hornby has done a great job bringing defensive resolve.
Too far back but will make a finals charge.
Sydney Roosters (B+)
A 9-6 record and fourth on the ladder is an underachievement if anything for a team with the best attack and third best defence.
They are sizzling with ball in hand but a 3-5 record against Top 8 teams (and they are just two wins over Brisbane and one over Canterbury) and throwing away games they should win a concern.
Title upside.
Wests Tigers (C+)
The Tigers have handed out a ridiculous 10 debuts this seasons, playing 35 players
Bye Round Football Stinks: Five games in a weekend, Origin players missing, the integrity of the competition being severely damaged, the Origin period going on and on and on … the NRL needs to reimagine how we get through this period and they need to do it now.
Having no Thursday football, one Friday game, one Sunday game and all the top players missing – and having this go on for the better part of seven weeks.
State Of Origin, sadly, is a necessary evil in the middle of the season.
It is a huge PR getter and it makes millions in TV rights (though why the NRL does not sell these separately is utter madness).
They are typically three of the five most watched sporting events in Australia every year (along with the NRL and AFL Grand Finals).
That does not mean the NRL cannot do something about this and the solution is to put the competition proper on pause, running a mid-season knockout cup competition akin to the Challenge Cup or the old AMCO Cup and starting the NRLW season earlier.
A mid-season cup competition would be a hugely exciting proposition, particularly for those clubs out of the premiership hunt.
The prizemoney could and should be large, there could be interest by including clubs from outside of the NRL as well as country regions.
Clubs can manage injury and workload by choosing how hard to go at the competition.
Broadcasters would have a fresh product, there is no need to shorten the season in terms of games played while in real time the season could start two weeks earlier and finish two weeks later.
Country/sub-NRL teams can have qualifiers in the pre-season and adjacent to the NRL.
The NRLW season should start earlier (and hopefully be extended), kicking off when the knockout competition is down to the final eight.
Women’s Origin could then get its rightful spot out of the men’s Origin spotlight.
More Bunker Debacles: To the surprise of absolutely nobody, the two in the middle of this week’s Bunker debacles were Kasey Badger and Peter Gough.
Those two, who along with Chris Butler, make up the most incompetent triumvirate in the NRL were utterly disgraceful again.
Badger intervened to get Roger Tuivasa-Sheck to the sin bin for what was essentially a textbook tackle while Gouch allowed Walker to remain on the field for a vicious shot to Jacob Kiraz.
It has been proven time and time again that on-field referees cannot give consistency to The Bunker and the worst offenders are always Badger, Butler and Gough, who should be locked out of the joint like they are filth-ridden squatters with a penchant for rugby union.
Unfortunately Badger is on crutches and we just know that she will be getting more Bunker games, not fewer.
Betting Close Call: This week’s close betting calls:
- The Dolphins jumped 5.5-point home underdogs and went down to the Storm by six despite having every call go against them, Connelly Lemuelu dropping the ball over the line and a host of chances in the final five minutes go begging.
- Gold Coast were 4.5-point home underdogs and won 66-6 … oh never mind.
2024 Field Goal Update – 17: Another week without a field goal, a disaster of the highest order.
Fun Fact #1: Parramatta are last on the ladder, their first week in last spot since winning the wooden spoon in 2018.
Fun Fact #2: Parramatta have claimed the wooden spoon in three of the last four seasons they spent even a single week in last spot.
Fun Fact #3: This is Parramatta’s 255th week in last spot – a premiership record with Western Suburbs in second spot with 219 and Souths the second on the active list at 168 weeks.
Willie M Team of the Week: This week’s team of yayas, yoyos and yeehaws:
1.Jordan Rapana (Can) 2.Tommy Talau (Man) 3.Roger Tuivasa-Sheck (NZ) 4.Tolutau Koula (Man) 5.Ed Kosi (NZ) 6.Ethan Strange (Can) 7.Shaun Johnson (NZ)
8.Addin Fonua-Blake (NZ) 9.Danny Levi (Can) 10.Jesse Bromwich (Dol) 11.Hudson Young (Can) 12.Connelly Lemuelu (Dol) 13.Jake Turpin (Bul)
14.Bailey Hayward (Bul) 15.Josh Curran (Bul) 16.Ben Condon (Man) 17.Emre Guler (Can)
Coach: Anthony Seibold
Betting Market of the Week: The NRL’s Hawk Tuah King:
$21.00: Matt Hilder $13.00: Hassan Saleh $5.00: Wade McKinnon $2.70: Samuela Fainu $1.20: Shayne Dunley
Rumour Mill: Raider Nick Cotric is set to join Catalans next year. He will likely be joined by Raiders teammate Elliott Whitehead. Charlie Staines will not be a popular character around the Tigers after withdrawing on Sunday with a fairly flimsy reason. Campell Graham and Tyrone Munro are now expected to miss all of 2024.
The Coaching Crosshairs: It is with unfettered sadness and eternal regret that it appears that Trent Barrett has been eliminated from the Parramatta coaching process that has been more drawn out than a Big Bash League season and more convoluted than finding the keys to the heart of the Hawk Tuah Girl.
Barrett remarkably made it down to the final three but with the Eels looking to draw it out like the finale of The Bachelorette, they have eliminated Barrett at the penultimate round.
The fact Barrett made it that far is truly an indictment on the club.
Unfortunately he will not be there next season with either Jason Ryles or Josh Hannay set to get the gig.
The fact that it is down to those two also says plenty about the narrow thinking of the Eels and their refusal to take a chance to find the best available candidate.
Vale, Trent Barrett’s coaching career.
Moronic Coaching Decision of the Week: Anthony Seibold likes to fashion himself as the smartest brain in the game, a coaching wunderkind whose thinking is so deep that Einstein would struggle to understand it, if the great physicist deigned to think deeply on the Greatest Game of All.
Yet he played Tommy Talau at five-eighth against South Sydney after naming Karl Lawton at halfback.
Manly managed exactly zero points against an Origin-depleted Rabbitohs in a game Manly really needed to be pushing for the win.
Watch It: It gets referenced often but we have not yet shown it in these pages – until now. Without further ado, Craig McLachlan’s utterly horrific, completely cringeworthy standup set on The Footy Show. It does not get worse. Watch it here.