Wrestling is officially cool again, just ask The Rock.
WrestleMania weekend has officially arrived, and before the 40th anniversary of wrestling’s must-watch events gets underway in Philadelphia on Sunday, we here at neds thought it would be the perfect time to relive some of the wildest and weirdest storylines the WWE has had to offer.
Vince McMahon’s Illegitimate Son
One of the most iconic moments of the modern era occurred in 2007 when Vince McMahon learned of his illegitimate “bastard” son, Hornswoggle.
The storyline dragged out for weeks but finally culminated with a grand revealing on Raw that featured the Sandman, Triple H, and some strong chants for Mr Kennedy.
Given the recent events surrounding Vince, this storyline isn’t so inconceivable, either.
The Rated R Sex Show
Teenage boys got a lesson on the birds and the bees in 2006 when WWE champion Edge put on a live sex show with his girlfriend Lita in the centre of the ring.
Somewhere, this was the first and last time a kid convinced his parents to let him watch wrestling.
Snitsky Boots a Baby (& Has a Foot Fetish)
This one will take a little explaining.
In 2006, Lita fell pregnant after she was sexually assaulted by Kane. As if that wasn’t bizarre enough, Snitsky became involved when he accidentally bumped Lita off the apron in a match on Raw, terminating the pregnancy.
On an episode of Jericho’s Highlight Reel, Snitsky interrupted Lita’s interview carrying a baby that he called his “new friend”.
Snitsky’s gimmick also involved him having a foot fetish, but in my opinion, he has to be one of the most underrated heels of all time – even if his run in the WWE was only short.
Always remember though, IT WASN’T HIS FAULT.
Triple H’s Break and Enter
Some segments age like a fine wine, this one, not so much.
Trips doing his best “heeeerreee’s Johnny” impression is only the beginning.
The fake pictures on the wall, Randy Orton’s terrified “wife”, and of course, the infamous window scene and the police miraculously turning up two seconds later.
If only their match at WrestleMania 25 lived up to the hype…
I’m Your Papi
“The future of a child literally hangs in the balance.”
A friendship turned bad, and hands down one of the greatest storylines of the Ruthless Aggression era.
In 2005, Eddie Guerrero announced he had a secret to reveal about Rey Mysterio’s real-life son, Dominick. After months of build-up, Eddie revealed on Smackdown that he was the real father of Rey’s child, but refusing to believe the truth, Mysterio challenged Eddie to a “custody match” at Summerslam.
This storyline has since come full circle with Dominick going on to achieve modern-day success in the WWE. At the time though, this felt VERY real, and in my opinion, the deciding ladder match remains one of the greatest of all time.
Mae Young Gives Birth
The storyline between Mae Young and Mark Henry during the early 2000s was all kinds of strange.
It reached its absolute peak in 2000 though when a “pregnant” Young went into labor after trying to land a splash in the ring.
Whoever came up with this idea (probably Vince) deserves a hand.
Val Venis Gets Gelded
Sticking with the theme of body parts, who can forget Val Venis getting the chop?
After allegedly sleeping with Yamiguchi-San’s wife, Venis had his special member castrated in the final minutes of a 1998 episode of Monday Night Raw.
It’s a struggle to try and find the footage, but the whole ordeal gave berth to one of the greatest lines of the Attitude Era.
Stephanie McMahon’s Crucifixion
The Undertaker really came into his own in 1999 when he led the Corporate Ministry through months and months of storylines and feuds, most notably against Vince McMahon.
Taker famously kidnapped Vince’s daughter Stephanie after the Backlash pay-per-view and attempted to marry and sacrifice her all in the same night on the following episode of Raw.
Booker T and Edge’s Japanese Shampoo Commercial
“Just because you know kung-fu, doesn’t mean you know shampoo…”
The feud between Booker T and Edge in 2002 might take the cake for the most stupid.
The pair clashed over who would appear in a fictional Japanese shampoo commercial, which led to a not-so-memorable match at WrestleMania X8.
Eugene
Not so much a storyline, but certainly a gimmick that you will never see again.
Eugene was introduced in 2004 as the nephew of General Manager Eric Bischoff, but due to his mental disabilities, he was quickly left in the care of William Regal.
Eugene was massively over and popped up a lot between 2004 and 2007, most notably against The Coach at Bad Blood, against Triple H at the ensuing Summerslam, and of course, in one of The Rock’s most famous returns.
Heidenreich and Michael Cole
Like Eugene, Heidenreich was a brief one-hit wonder on Smackdown during the same time, only much scarier.
His main claim to fame was a feud with The Undertaker in 2004 that involved several matches, including a casket match at the Royal Rumble. A year later, he went on to team up with Animal, but overall, his time in WWE is most remembered for his poems and this terrifying “rape” storyline with Michael Cole.
The Kiss My Ass Club
The Vince McMahon “Kiss My Ass Club” has featured several members over the years, starting with William Regal in 2001 following the fallout of “The Invasion” storyline.
Shawn Michaels, Mick Foley, and even his bastard son Hornswoggle would join years later, but McMahon wasn’t always successful in his recruiting attempts.
Katie Vick
The story surrounding Kane’s past has always been a fascinating one.
The writers chose to delve into weird depths in 2002 when it was revealed that Kane, who was involved in a heavyweight title feud with Triple H at the time, had once been in an intimate relationship with a woman named Katie Vick.
The story goes that Kane was behind the wheel when she tragically died in a car accident.
In an attempt to basically frame Kane as a necrophiliac, Triple H dressed up as Kane at the funeral home and well, got busy.
To add to the weirdness, it’s alleged that a very real-life funeral was going on next door.
Tim White’s Suicide
The Tim White storyline titled “Lunchtime Suicide” is a long and arduous one that involves many twists and turns.
For those unaware, White was a long-time WWE referee who (not kayfabe) hurt his shoulder calling the Hell in a Cell match between Triple H and Chris Jericho at Judgement Day in 2002.
White returned two years later, only to reaggravate the injury on a three count in Jericho’s match against Christian at Wrestlemania XX, hence ending his career.
Instead of disappearing from the scene though, White made various on-screen appearances, opening up his own bar in Rhode Island where he was depicted as a bitter, suicidal alcoholic.
From there, White attempted to “kill” himself with a shotgun on live TV, ingest rat poison, and even hang himself. This went on for weeks, with many fans labeling it as distasteful following the untimely death of Eddie Guerrero.
Vince Goes Bang
Not long after the Tim White angle, Vince McMahon randomly decided to blow himself up.
Vince’s limo exploded just before Raw went off the air in 2007 which, at the time, was only the second staged death in WWE history.
Basically, it was Vince taking himself off TV for a few years, but not long after the Chris Benoit tragedy happened, forcing McMahon back onto our screens on a taping of ECW to discuss the matter.
Staying true to the storyline though, Vince’s “funeral” went ahead the next week on Raw with a ten-bell salute.
The Kennel From Hell
The Kennel From Hell match at Unforgiven in 1999 almost deserves its own article.
Widely regarded as one of the worst matches in wrestling history, this Hardcore Title bout featured The Big Boss Man taking on Al Snow in a cage-like structure that was surrounded on the outside by barking dogs.
The feud came to be after Bossman fed Snow his own dog “Pepper” in the leadup.
Instead of the “vicious” hounds the WWE had hoped for, they were instead left with a ringside area full of urine and feces.
https://youtu.be/hPeZIvg97Kk
The Mexicool’s
Not much to say here, but good luck getting three Mexicans riding lawnmowers over the line in this day and age.
Brock Lesnar vs Zach Gowen
People love this storyline, but at the time, it felt so, so wrong.
A 300+ pound Brock Lesnar assaulted Zach Gowen in 2003, a “fan” turned wrestler with an amputated leg.
This match – if you can call it that – got very ugly as Gowen’s family watched on.
Jillian Hall’s Face
Jillian Hall’s basic gimmick in 2006 was “manager” of the faction MNM, but it wasn’t that simple.
For whatever reason, those in creative decided to plant a massive “growth” on the left side of her face, which she would carry right through until her time “managing” JBL during his title run.
Watching this as a child was disgusting enough, but reliving this iconic Piper’s Pit moment with the Boogeyman is even harder.
Vince McMahon vs God
Religion crossed with wrestling had worked wonders for Vince in the past, so why not go back to the well at Backlash?
In 2006, Vince and his son Shane teamed up to face Shawn Michaels and his tag-team partner, the Lord almighty.