Using the unique method of no form, no analysis, no knowledge and simply backing horses with the power of Puns, the PUN-ter and his unique way of “tipping” returns to Neds by popular demand ahead of the 2023 Melbourne Cup.
Management at Neds have ADMITTED (RACE 1, number 1) their mistake after a SUBSTANTIAL (R10, no 15) campaign to bring back yours truly, the PUN-ter.
If it wasn’t for the RISE OF THE MASSES (R10, no 8) who kept WARNING (R2, no 5) the bookies there would be a BREAKUP (Melbourne Cup R7, no 4) if my unique method of no form, no analysis, and just puns didn’t return.
Just like Sinatra himself, I’ll always do it MY WAY (R3, no 8)
After all, it was yours truly who put Neds on THE MAP (R5, no 4) and I wasn’t going to go WITHOUT A FIGHT (Melbourne Cup R7, no 3)
But enough about me, let’s focus on Cup Day.
On Tuesday, I’ll be lucky enough to be in a marquee, you won’t believe who’s on the guest list this year – forget the big Hollywood stars like Matt Damon, I’m told that Carlton legend Vin CATOGGIO (R1, no 5) will be there!
I’ll have to make sure I bring my COMMEMORATIVE (R8, no 13) footy card for the great man to sign.
The PUN-ter is hoping to get Vin Catoggio’s autograph.
BIG SWAN (R3, no 5) Tom Hickey will also be in attendance as well as TEAM CAPATAIN (R5, no 6) Luke Parker, but I’m not sure about Dane Rampe and Callum Mills I hope they haven’t FORGOT YOU (R2, no 4) either.
The Swans boys love it down at Flemington, given they’ve taken a POUNDING (R2, no 1) in their past three attempts in THE BIG DANCE the Cup is a great escape from it all.
Callum Mills, Dane Rampe and Luke Parker will again lead the Sydney Swans as co-captains in 2023.
The trio join five other players in the Swans’ 2023 leadership group. #Bloods
📸 @philthy295 pic.twitter.com/BxeluphahW
— Sydney Swans (@sydneyswans) February 21, 2023
The Sydney Swans leadership group loves Cup Day.
Anyway, now to get ready for tomorrow.
First I need to get down to the BARBER (R4,no 1) to get the ears lowered.
Then I need to CALL DI (R9, no 15), she’s my hot date for tomorrow.
I actually met her on Tinder when I was in CLEVELAND (Melbourne Cup R7, no 10) and now she’s coming down under to be at Flemington.
We’re at that really full-on stage early in our relationship, I’ve told her not to do the LOVE TAP (R6, no 1) in public but I cannot wait to ROLL ON HIGH (R8, no 16) in the birdcage with her beside my arm.
This will give Millsy and Paris Hilton a run for their money.
Paris Hilton and Millsy – the greatest Cup Day romance of them all.
I truly think it could be love. She told me she’s every chance for fashions on the field, so be sure to look out for the LADY IN PINK (R8, no 9) with a glass of SHERAZ (Melbourne Cup Race 7, no 14).
If you’re up to this stage of reading this blog, you’d probably want me to VOW AND DECLARE (Melbourne Cup Race 7, no 9) who I’ve got in the Cup, but that goes against the spirit and INTERPRETATION (Melbourne Cup Race 7, no 23) of how the PUN-ter works.
Enjoy your Melbourne Cup Day, and if the boss wants you to work (if you live outside of Victoria) remember that it’s your RIGHT TO PARTY (R8, no 11) no matter what the naysayers say.
Happy PUN-ting!
Yours in PUNs,
The PUN-ter.