By Ned Merrett Murray, Lang Park Brisbane
(FROM THE DAILY NEDSPRES Late 80s-Early 90s)
RUGBY LEAGUE was thrown into chaos overnight after last night’s State of Origin game at Lang Park resulted in no fights, no mele’s, no Donnybrooks and zero sin bins.
The Front page of the Daily Nedspress from back in the day
Instead, the sold-out crowd at Lang Park was subjected to a high-scoring, high-skilled, constantly lead-changing game of State of Origin football.
Fans took their frustration out by throwing beer cans at the players with most of the crowd demanding the League take action and/or refunds.
Angry fans at Lang Park expected better.
“As a busy working Mum, I don’t want my kids playing this wussy sport,” one concerned Mother told the Daily Nedspress after the game.
Another punter, who had driven all the way from Emerald in central Queensland along with his young son told the paper “They ran out of pies by halftime, and it was clear they didn’t have any knuckle sandwiches either”
Perhaps it was best summed up by this Queensland supporter who told Neds Nightly News “Origin without biff. What’s the point?”
League CEO Jack Winfield has promised to take action
League CEO Jack Winfield held an emergency press conference outside headquarters on Thursday morning, telling the media “wouldn’t rule out sanctions” for bringing the game into disrepute after there was no biffo in the game.
“I can’t comment on the independency (sic) of the judiciary, however, those boys were expecting a busy night and ended up doing jacks**t.”
The blame for the nonviolent version of Origin has been shared equally amongst both the Blues and Maroons camps.
“We did enough” – Wayne Bennett
Queensland coach Wayne Bennett told Neds Nightly News “we did enough to win” and when pressed as to why no one took a swing, Bennett fired back in that typical Wayne-style “No, but we had our opportunities”
Wally Lewis didn’t back down either
The King responded to claims that Wayne Pearce would have taken a swing if he did, “…that’s ridiculous, there are 13 blokes on the football field”
“Pfft.” – Wally Lewis
New South Wales this morning was able to enjoy breakfast in their hotel room, rather than through a straw in the hospital, which left their skipper Wayne Pearce speechless when he fronted the media this morning.
A stunned Wayne Pearce.
With two games remaining in the series, players, officials, broadcasters, and more importantly the punters are expecting Biffo to return, as a defiant Jack Winfield said in his press conference “Make no mistake, we will bring back the Biff.”
If Winfield wants to make the big game bigger, he’ll need to, otherwise, it will become the little game that’s wussier.
FINAL SCORE
QLD 36
NSW 34
BUMPS, BIFFS, BRAWLS – 0
INJURIES – 0
REPORTS – 0
This short film is a mockumentary and for entertainment purposes only.
The underlying story, and characters portrayed in this production are fictitious.
Footage sourced from Channel 7.