The hunt is on to find a new man for the top job at Arden Street after the Kangaroos gave David Noble the Freo-Heave-Ho today.
Noble’s sacking comes after North commissioned a football review – the modern version of having the “full support of the board” and while not a shock, some are surprised given the Roos had a decent crack only to go down to the Pies by seven points on the weekend.
"I feel I have unfinished business in the industry."
David Noble's outgoing message was strong.
Watch LIVE: https://t.co/9czvUYFw9k pic.twitter.com/osqdq2QDS2
— AFL (@AFL) July 12, 2022
The Kangaroos only won five out of 38 games with Noble as coach, and his successor will be North’s fourth coach in five seasons.
Just who will come out as the new man to bring back that famous Shinboner spirit the Kangaroos are famous for?
The Neds investigative unit has managed to hunt down the shortlist as to who North Melbourne is considering for the senior coaching position.
(1) Alastair Clarkson
2022 has been Clarko’s gap year and while he wants to coach a team that might win a premiership, the man is a North Melbourne legend.
The greatest Kangaroo to ever wear the blue and white stripes in England.
(2) Ross Lyon
Avid listeners of Triple M footy will know that Ross loves a bit of value when he chats to us in our betting updates as part of the broadcast, but it’s fair to say Lyon still wants to coach.
Could the former St Kilda and Freo coach be the man to take the Roos back to the glory days?
(3) Adam Simpson
Will the former Roos skipper leave the highly resourced, more money than any other club, team he took to the premiership to come home to Arden Street?
Yeah, nah.
(4) John Longmire
Another North favourite son, now South Melbourne/Sydney’s longest-serving coach.
He’ll give the Kangas a don’t call me, I’ll call you kind of response when asked if he wants to go back to Arden Street.
(5) Mick Malthouse
He picked Essendon for the flag this year and coached Carlton out of spite for Eddie.
Unlike Longmire, North will say don’t call us we’ll call you to poor old Mick.
(6) Eddie McGuire
Recent editions of Footy Classified as seen Eddie talk about North Melbourne more than any other club.
He’s kind of obsessed, so he may as well throw his hat in the ring along with moving them to Tassie for 11/11 in some weird hybrid model team idea that will never work.
(7) Denis Pagan
The greatest North Melbourne coach of all time has found success as a horse trainer, including 2020 Victoria Derby winner Johnny Get Angry.
Pagan will bring back some old-school values to North and got the job done in the club’s glory days of the 1990s of eight preliminary finals and two flags.
Pagan was also one of the last coaches to take training in a full tracksuit.
When all else fails, perhaps it’s time to Bring back Pagan to North.
(8) Jason Horne-Francis
What the prized North Melbourne number 1 draft pick needs is more pressure on the future of the club by making him a playing-coach.
"You don't take your Ferrari to the local go-kart race."
– @TomBrowne7 on Jason Horne-Francis playing in the VFL pic.twitter.com/i3dkKbRPU8
— 7AFL (@7AFL) July 8, 2022
(9) Humphrey B Bear
Won’t say anything to the players, media or anyone in general and doesn’t wear pants.
(10) Robbo
Hard-hitting journo turns hard-hitting coach of North.
You would be able to tell how his team is fairing based on arm-waving, turning pages of the Herald Sun on the desk and grunts between words.
(11) Damien Barrett
IF:
Damo becomes the coach of North Melbourne
THEN:
Bevo must be sacked at the Western Bulldogs
(12) Brett Kirk
Thanks Basil. I just want to give you a bit of an insight into the North Melbourne team.
We’re a bunch of unique individuals – Stephenson, Zibell, Davies-Uniaacke, Cunnington, Horne-Francis and myself.
We’re gonna engage with our minds and our hearts.
We’re gonna exchange ideas, thoughts and even our energy.
And to speak from your heart you need to have courage.
You need to be honest and authentic.
We’re not always gonna get it right.
And sometimes, you’re not going to agree with us.
But that’s okay, because just like you we care.
Just like you, we’re passionate about the game.
So if you want to come along for the ride, join us on Saturday arvos, Sunday twilight and venues that will never see prime time because we just love the footy.
(13) Plucka Duck
Not a chicken, or a cow.
Might be able to pluck a priority pick and will need to give up his beloved Nissan Pulsar for a Mazda.
(14) A Woman
North gave us innovations like the Grand Final breakfast, Friday night footy, and interstate home games…if any club is going to hire the first female senior coach you can bet it would be the Kangaroos.
(15) Wayne Carey
Could the Duck, favourite son, much loved, greatest North Melbourne player of all time come home as coach?
Along with his great footy knowledge, the Duck would bring back the work hard/play hard culture that made North North in the 1990s.
We all know hiring club legends with no coaching experience to the top job always ends well and we’ll make zero references to why he left the club in the first place.
(16) Kane Cornes
Cornes can coach the Kangas on the weekend and then bag himself out/call for himself to be sacked during the week on his various media commitments.
“AFL GREAT KANE CORNES SLAMS NORTH COACH KANE CORNES.”
The articles just write themselves.
(17) David King
The North Melbourne great turned FOX Footy commentator needs to address the big issues at his old club.
What is their brand?
What do they stand for?
What is in their DNA?
Rinse. Wash. Repeat.
(18) James Brayshaw
JB played a huge role in preventing the club from moving to the Gold Coast in 2007, now is the time for him to step up to the coaching role again.
(19) Ricky Ponting
North’s biggest fan.
The former captain of the Australian Cricket Team and one of our all-time greatest.
Is Punter the man to take North to the promised land?
(20) Tim Rogers
Aussie rock legend/You am I front man Tim Rogers has written and performed some great songs over the years – can he get North Melbourne all singing from the same song sheet as coach?
(21) Andrew Johns, Fatty Vautin, The Big Marn, Gordie Tallis and the NRL Footy Show cast circa 2012
This YouTube clip proves that this cross-code swap could see something for the eighth immortal of Rugby League to take the reigns at North.