VICTORIAN Premier Dan Andrews didn’t mince his words when asked at his daily press conference regarding what he thought about Footballer’s who win Mark of the Year no longer winning a car.
“They are sh**ty choices,” said Andrews.
Andrews joins a host of the world, federal and state leaders along with a host of legends of the game who have condemned the lack of cars being handed out at season’s end to the player that takes the biggest specky.
This follows a slate of mass-protests around the country with thousands upon thousands of average punters on the street venting their anger in the aftermath of the Neds report, which first aired on Monday.
With scenes including confrontations with law enforcement, signs with witty slogans being directed at League HQ and one man even painted his white horse with “BRING BACK THE CAR.”
A whole lot of horse power.
A local mum, Karen Corns of West Lakes, who attended the protest in Adelaide told Neds “As a busy working mother, I don’t want little Johnny thinking he can’t play footy at the highest level but can’t win a car. Quite frankly, it’s Un-Australian.”
The League is still yet to respond to the demands of the people to give a car away to the winner of Mark of the Year.
Various world leaders have released statements encouraging the League to bring back the car
US PRESIDENT JOE BIDEN
“C’mon man, give ‘em a car.”
HER MAJESTY QUEEN ELIZABETH II
“One may get a chariot to the palace, but a footballer winning a car is as good as handing out a knighthood.”
PRIME MINISTER SCOTT MORRISON
WA PREMIER MARK MCGOWAN
“Even if they do give a car away, I’ll make sure it doesn’t cross the border.”
SOUTH AUSTRALIAN CHIEF HEALTH OFFICER PROF. NICOLA SPURRIER
“Did they touch the ball?”
ARL CHAIRMAN PETER V’LANDYS
“We’d never do this in Rugbah-Leeg.”
AUSTRALIAN RACING DRIVER DANIEL RICCARDO
“If I could give up one of my cars…I would.”
“How about Daryl and I make a comeback and we’ll give away a Nissan Pulsar.”
“It’s rigged. Stop the steal.”
This short film is a mockumentary/spoof/piss-take and is for entertainment purposes only.
· While we have used real events around previous winners, the underlying story/scandal/public outrage, some names, some characters, and some incidents portrayed in this production are fictitious. This includes the following:
- There is no Neds Hanga of the Year competition and the winner of the Neds Hanga of the Year will not win a 1995 Toyota Camry ( or any other car);
- Neds is actually unsure what “league headquarters,” thinks about past players speaking out.
- Neds did not seek permission from “league headquarters” to show the vision of the classic marks of years gone by, nor did “league headquarters” gag the WAGs/family/friends of previous winners
· The players involved in the making of this satirical news report are not actually outraged.
· Neds has no affiliation with the AFL. No identification with actual persons (living or deceased), places, buildings, and products is intended or should be inferred.
· No pies, cereal or cars were hurt in the filming of this video.