LEAKED: PSG’s FULL Transfer Shopping List

LEAKED: PSG’s FULL Transfer Shopping List

James Caughlin

Financial Fair Play… what is that?

PSG have made a mockery of the transfer window by adding some of football’s biggest names to their squad already this offseason.

https://twitter.com/PSG_English/status/1426664425981890563?s=20

Surely they are done now, who else could they possibly sign?

As it so happens, the Neds crack investigative team have been able to acquire the FULL shopping list from the PSG offices.

Safe to say there are some out of the box choices as they seek to fill out that squad.

Achraf Hakimi ✔️

Unlike several of his teammates, Hakimi took a minor detour going from La Liga to PSG, spending last season with Inter Milan.

It looks like the fullback is settling in quite nicely already.

Danilo Pereira ✔️

Ok not officially a “new signing” but Danilo became a full PSG player this offseason after spending the last season with them on loan from Porto.

Lionel Messi ✔️

Can you believe he came on a free transfer?!

You know they are going to milk him for all he is worth.

https://twitter.com/PSG_English/status/1425713665785831425?s=20

Messi playing for anyone other than Barcelona will still take some getting used to though.

Georginio Wijnaldum ✔️

Looking for some Champions League winning experience?

They’ve got him!

He should walk right into the starting XI ahead of Leando Paredes, Pereira, Idrissa Gueye, Marco Veratti, Rafinha and Ander Herrera… no competition for places whatsoever.

Sergio Ramos ✔️

Same as above… but more.

PSG will still probably going to need some cover for his inevitable red card or three.

Or if Ramos gets lost in selfie mode.

Gianluigi Donnarumma ✔️

Arguably the most talented young goalkeeper in the world, Donnarumma joins the club after helping Italy win the Euros.

It’s not like they had multiple Champions League winning keeper Keylor Navas already on the team… oh wait they did.

Cristiano Ronaldo ✔️

We all know you want to see Ronaldo and Messi team up just once.

Forget waiting for Mbappe to leave, just go get him now.

Harry Kane

Manchester or Paris… it’s no contest.

He wants trophies and would be guaranteed one with PSG… just probably not the Champions League.

Erling Haaland

Can you have too many forwards?

No, surely not.

He would score 100 goals a season at this rate.

The A-League

Manchester City invested in Melbourne Heart and renamed them Melbourne City.

In the spirit of one-upmanship, PSG are going to divert a fraction of their considerable wealth to Australia’s premiere domestic competition.

Get ready for a bunch of PSG’s fringe youngsters getting taught the dark arts by the likes of Matt Simon in their gap year loan to Gosford.

Pierre Gasly

Actually this may have just been a publicity stunt but the F1 driver may also line up at left back for a couple of games this season.

LeBron James

The guy loves a super team and winning trophies in a second sport is something Michael Jorden never did.

He may have to ditch his Liverpool merchandise though.

Tom Brady (& Gisele Bundchen)

Brady was convinced to move to Tampa, the second worst city in Florida, because his wife wanted out of the North-East.

It won’t take a lot to convince Gisele it’s time to move to Paris.

Not sure what role Brady would have on the though since he ran like the tin man from The Wizard of Oz in his 20’s, maybe just training dummy.

Or just to raise the average age of the squad.

Eddie Betts

You thought he was actually retiring?

He’s off to Paris to chase glory on a global stage.

His favourite goal: “the next one”.

That Guy From The Goal! movies

He seemed to know what he was doing on the big screen.

Al Pacino

Pochettino seems to know what he’s doing as the coach, but let’s bring in Pacino for a pre-game rev up.

Manu from Channel 7

They’ll need a good chef to keep these guys well fed.

Just keep his old friend away from the dressing room when it comes to treating injuries and ailments.

The Mona Lisa

Doesn’t offer a whole lot going forward or in defence but would be a nice

They might even try and sign it on a free transfer too.

A One Bedroom Apartment in Sydney

This might actually push their budget to breaking point.

But think of the views!