Many years ago, a group of television executives sat in a pitch meeting and gave the writers a brief
“Combine car-crash television with a train-wreck.”
And with that brief came Married at First Sight, also known as MAFS.
To celebrate the 40 year anniversary of the Underarm incident, we summoned the ghost of Richie Benaud to get his take on the Married at First Sight reunion show. #MAFS pic.twitter.com/FOMBP6cYaC
— Neds (@NedsAus) February 1, 2021
We are all well accustomed to how this show works.
The so-called “experts” (who are about as good as picking winners as I was last Saturday) pair up two strangers who meet on the day of their “wedding” and they get “married” all the name of ratings…I mean science.
Every night millions of Australians tune in and pass judgement on these “couples” as they yearn for what they’ve always wanted in life, more followers on Instagram.
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Like everything else in the world, a lot has changed since the last series of MAFS.
This year the show will have a new expert, or should we say…SEXpert in Puerto Rican clinical sexologist Alessandra Rampolla joins Mel Schilling and John Aiken as they try and justify their incredibly poor strike rate over the past eight years
The experts are doing what they do best 💁♀️ Let the matchmaking begin, Monday 7.30pm on @Channel9! pic.twitter.com/XNap1aNC8p
— Married At First Sight (@MarriedAU) February 17, 2021
There’s no doubting that adding an element of someone asking “Have youze done it yet?” will really give the show a shot in the arm.
All the couples will live under the same roof, get into fights at dinner parties, have emotional breakdowns on national television and receive plenty of fanmail in their respective social platforms DMs.
You can’t deny that whenever you’ve gone to a wedding of a couple that seems uncomfortable you wish you could run a book on how long the marriage is going to last.
Fortunately, being a bookie ourselves and these relationships being fake and on national television, we’re running a market on how many couples will last the distance in season eight of Australia’s most controversial experiment and biggest dumpster fire – Married at First Sight.
While a series of MAFS where nobody ends up together at the end of the series would be the perfect outcome, the market suggests that this ending won’t happen.
Many have suggested that MAFS should end how Poochie was killed off on Itchy and Scratchy, but we do need to remind ourselves we are dealing with real people here.
Clearly, some couples are going to end up going the distance.
Last season THREE of the couples ended up staying until the final decision, however, none of them are still together in real life.
By the end of the week, all of these people will be household names and we will all be passing judgement on their every move in the “experiment”
Why anyone would sign up for this show is beyond me, but there are followers to gain on Instagram.
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It’s a bit of a long shot for only the 1-2 couples to remain by the end of the series, but I wouldn’t rule it out.
The market suggests that won’t happen.
What I do wish the bookies would do (and we’ve asked) is offering a market on which bloke is going to be the new Dean/Mike Gunner/Michael/Anthony (who we still see on our screens when watching the races).
The bookies won’t go ahead with it.
If there was a market on it, my money would be on 31-year-old ACT radio announcer Bryce.
His bio reads as follows:
“This super-confident single is a great talker. An alpha- type male who can come across as cocky, Bryce is opinionated and outspoken, and it doesn’t bother him at all.
A footy bloke never shy to speak his mind, other guys tend to be intimidated by him. And if Bryce can see a way to benefit from that, he’ll use it.”
However, with a background in breakfast radio and some awkward YouTube moments I think old mate is up for the challenge.
Get to know some of our #MAFS brides and grooms before tonight's premiere! Introducing Bryce https://t.co/5myHQ7Hbeq
— PUNKEE (@itspunkee) February 22, 2021
As they say, word has probably gotten out from a guy who knows a girl who knows a bloke who’s mate is the boom mic operator on MAFS that 3-4 couples remain, however, these odds are a bit too high for it to be the case.
Having seen this promo on a constant loop with the Dylan Alcott ANZ financin’ ads during the Australian Open, I am hopeful this Patrick bloke is there at the business end of MAFS.
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Patrick’s profile reads as follows:
“A fitness fanatic who also competes nationally in power lifting, Patrick loves to travel and wants a wife to continue his adventures with. His ideal girl would be loyal, caring and friendly, definitely not “fake” or “plastic” looking.”
It’s not the first time MAFS has had a kooky-fitness fanatic participate in the “experiment”
Given the horror year everyone in the world has had to endure, perhaps Married at First Sight in 2021 will truly be all about love and all of these couples are really in it for the wedded bliss.
Probably not, however, the even money on 5-6 to be together at the end of this series is incredibly good value and my BEST BET*.
(*Just a reminder, my ability to pick winners on MAFS is about as good as the experts on the show.)
In what seems to be an ongoing trend for Reality TV in Australia, former Carlton player Jake Edwards will be one of this season’s grooms.
Edwards played five games for Carlton in 2008, and kicked 4 goals.
That’s five more games and four more goals then you or I ever will achieve, however, we’re offering $1.01 that Daily Mail and News.com.au will refer to him as a “Former AFL Star.”
Jake appears to be a star in his own right, spending his time of recent as CEO of the mental health charity Outside the Locker Room.
The show always needs a good bloke in the mix and Jake appears to be it.
Let’s hope he’s not dudded in the first episodes, like many a good bloke on MAFS seasons past.
Get to know the #MAFS brides and grooms preparing for marriage on Monday! https://t.co/6YP4H3g8PX
— Married At First Sight (@MarriedAU) February 17, 2021
We’re going to learn a lot about these participants for the next few weeks.
Already we know that Belinda has never been in a relationship.
Never have I ever… 🤭 Belinda's looking for her first love, Monday 7.30pm on @Channel9! pic.twitter.com/AC7NTRiyFu
— Married At First Sight (@MarriedAU) February 18, 2021
And the boys will go into the depths of their souls as to what they are after in a wife.
Will these men meet their perfect match? 🤵 #MAFS starts Monday 7.30pm on @Channel9! pic.twitter.com/vWWnigYxFw
— Married At First Sight (@MarriedAU) February 20, 2021
But there’s simply NO WAY 7-8 couples will last the distance in a series of MAFS.
In fact, why are you even considering this?
Why are you reading this?
Well, I’m glad you are still reading this.
To reward you for still reading this betting preview, here’s Jess and Dan breaking up live on national television via the hit MAFS spin-off “Talking Married” way back in 2019.