The PUN-ter: Melbourne Cup 2020

Using the unique method of no form, no analysis, no knowledge and simply backing horses with the power of Puns, the PUN-ter and his unique way of “tipping” returns to Neds for the 2020 Melbourne Cup.

Many punters across Australia considered my tips being part of the FABRIC (Race 9, no.4) of the Spring Racing Carnival and after a considerable GROUNDSWELL (Race 6, no. 2) of support, I the PUN-ter have returned for Melbourne Cup Day.

I’m not here for a pity party, spare me the VIOLINIST (Race 2, no.5) but it sure was a HARD LANDING (Race 3, no.1) from grace when I was given the Freo heave-ho.

To be honest, it was OUTRAGEOUS (race 6, no 6) that the big wigs at Neds thought to send me INTO THE ABYSS (Race 9, no 8) but after a CONFRONTATIONAL (Race 5, no 1) campaign that went VIRAL (Race 6, no 12) managed to get the higher-ups COMING AROUND (race 6, no 1) to bringing me back.

THE DIFFERENCE (Race 6, no 18) was you, especially the admin of the “Bring back the PUN-ter” Facebook group, Paula – WAY TO GO PAULA (Race 2, no 10)

To celebrate my triumphant return as one of Neds tipsters, this is the ULTIMATE EDITION (Race 5, number 5) of the PUN-ter for that Tuesday in November and I am confident you won’t do your DOSH (Race 1, number 9) and that you’ll have EXCESS FUNDS (Race 10, no 11) in your account on Cup Day.

Now, I’m no FINANCE TYCOON (race 1, no 2) but my INTUITION (race 10, number 4) of no form, no analysis, just puns might just work and I encourage you to have a CAPTAIN COOK (Race 8, no. 5) at my tips.

I have a VERY ELLEEGANT (Race 7, no.5) way of picking a winner for the Melbourne Cup and whoever THE CHOSEN ONE (race 7, no. 17) is will forever be in the ECHOES IN ETERNITY (Race 3, no 9) of the history books.

A word of WARNING (Race 7, number 19) before I VOW AND DECLARE (Race 7, number 3) the Horse I’m backing in the Cup has a bit of a stigma to it and THE CLOSER (Race 9, number 13) I get to reveal my pick, the more pressure I’m under.

For obvious reasons, I won’t be at Flemington tomorrow.

I’ll be watching the Cup from my home overlooking my HARBOUR VIEWS (Race 8, no 8) and can’t wait for the day to when there is NO RESTRICTION (Race 2, no 7) as to who can’t be on track on Cup Day.

Happy PUN-ting!

THE PUN-ter.