The official, indisputable, iron-clad and binding AFL Club songs rankings

With the West Coast Eagles announcing yesterday that they’ve re-jigged their club song with assistance from Birds of Tokyo, it’s given us the perfect excuse to come up with this definitive list as to which AFL team has the best song.

Remember, the rankings are not up for discussion and whatever we say goes.

(1) Brisbane Lions

As the proud major sponsor of the mighty Brisbane Lions, our decision to make the Brisbane Lions club song top of the pops in this list is totally fair and balanced.

30,000 Lions members plus 66.99 million French can’t be wrong with this tune.

We also expect this song to be ringing around the MCG come the last Saturday in September.

It was also the anthem for the old Royboys and that’s good enough for us.

(2) Richmond

Don’t kid yourself, every time you hear this song you can’t help but join in with the “YELLOW AND BLACK.”

Up until recently, the sounds of “Oh we’re from Tigerland” was the only thing that kept Richmond fans going.

The club opted to change the classic and iconic Fable singers version due to a historical mistake fixing the “Risking head and skin” to the proper lyrics of “Risking head and shin.”

Many fans didn’t like the weakened down version and it the Fable Singers version was brought back with the proper lyrics spliced in.

The song has been top of the pops come the last Saturday in September for two out of the last three years.

(3) GWS Giants

Many new clubs tend to opt for crappy modern-sounding theme songs, but the GWS Giants got theirs done perfectly.

Written and performed by Harry Angus from The Cat Empire, the BIG BIG SOUND took the internet by storm in the lead-up to last years Grand Final, until the Giants lost the Grand Final to Richmond by 89 points.

(4) Melbourne

The great thing about the Melbourne theme song is that it doesn’t mention Melbourne or the Demons in it, therefore, any team in any sport that has red and blue as their colours can use it.

It’s also pretty good to burst out after a big win – for the other clubs that use it, not so much the Dees who don’t get the chance.

Thank goodness the merger with Hawthorn never went ahead in 1996 or we could be stuck with this monstrosity

(5) Sydney

The Swans can claim the fifth spot based purely on the fact it has a Banjo solo in it.

Sydney opted for a “fresh version” of the club song of recent, but the old South Melbourne one is still bloody good.

(6) Essendon

Although this song has not been played concluding a finals match that the club has participated in since 2004, See the Bombers fly up is a proper footy team song with a catchy tune.

Credit where credit is due.

(7) North Melbourne

The North song is pretty iconic and the “Hearts and Hearts” bit that the players sing isn’t actually in the recording that everyone knows.

The club did get Tim Rogers to record a version of the song that had all the verses that would be played when the team ran out onto the ground.

There remains a debate if “North Melbourne is the team that plays to win for you and me” or “North Melbourne will be premiers just you wait and see”

(8) Carlton

The Da-Da-Da-Da-Da intro to the Carlton theme song is as iconic as the song itself and Blues fans and players can really belt this one out after a big win.

The 1999 Preliminary Final is a good example.

(9) Geelong

The Cats went with a bit of class in this one basing it on the Toréador song in the Bizet – Carmen opera and it’s made for a solid club anthem over the years.

Much like the Australian national anthem, there’s also a second verse that’s never sung and while the club has attempted a recording with it in it, they’ve stuck with just the first verse.

(10) Hawthorn

Ride those bumps with a grin.
Hawthorn loses points in the club song rankings because of the brown and gold colour scheme, not they’d care.

(11) Western Bulldogs

Sons of the West was top of the pops in September 2016 when everyone got on the bandwagon in one of the most memorable finals series from any team in memory.

It’s not amazing and it’s not awful and isn’t as catchy as Sons of the ‘Scray but it gets the job done.

The Dogs also recorded a version called “Daughters of the West” for their AFLW team.

(12) Fremantle

Some would say it’s the worst, we say it’s iconic.

The Freo theme song has had its moments and the fact the clubs members opted to keep it over a possible Eskimo Joe replacement back in 2011 speaks volumes that the Dockers fans go by the mantra – it might be a crap song, but it’s OUR song. We respect that.

(13) St.Kilda

There’s nothing wrong with the Saints song, but the version the club use at the moment which is a re-working of the old Fable tune is a bit plain.

Also, this video from a few years back is a reason why the Saints are low on our club song rankings.

The Saints also had “I do like to beside the seaside” once upon a time as their club song.

(14) Port Adelaide

This ranking will no doubt cause some Port Adelaide Aggression amongst the Power fans reading this but Port go low on the rankings mostly because of this bloke

Image result for Kochie Port Adelaide

(15) Adelaide

What on earth is this “KNOWN AS THE ADELAIDE CROWS” lyric?

It’s an ok footy song but has nothing on the original Crows anthem “HERE WE GO CAMRY CROWS”

(16) West Coast

Only released yesterday, the West Coast Eagles have re-jigged their song with some assistance from Birds of Tokyo with some new lyrics from what has been basically an ad-jingle for the good part of 20 years.

It sounds like a Birds of Tokyo Song and hasn’t yet been tested in a stadium after a win.

The original Eagles song, which was played after their 1992 and 1994 Grand Final wins is still the best West Coast has had to offer.

(17) Gold Coast Suns

If the Gold Coast Suns theme song had a contract, it too would request a trade to another club.

(18) Baby Shark

(19) Dance Monkey

(20) Up Up Cronulla

(21) What does the Fox Say?

(22) Agadoo

(23) The Fast Food Song

(24) Star Trekkin’

(25) Crazy Frog

(26) Collingwood

Basically we’d rather hear songs 18-25 than Good old Collingwood Forever. This is a perfectly reasonable justification.

Shout out to Dom Sheed for preventing it being played after Grand Final day in 2018.