Sport’s Lamest Excuses

Deontay Wilder lost his WBC Heavyweight title to Tyson Fury last weekend in Las Vegas and he offered up one of the all-time lamest excuses post fight.

Wilder claimed that the outfit that he wore upon entering the MGM Arena was too heavy and that it effected his output and balance during the fight.

Making it all the more interesting was when someon dug deep into the Joe Rogan Experience podcast to find where Wilder had bragged about training in a suit that was very similar in weight in the lead-up to the fight. 

This is not the first time, and nor will it be the last, that a professional athlete has offered up a lame excuse for not performing at their best after a loss.

We’ve dug deep into the sea to fish out all the excuses that have been dished up over the years and put them all in the one place for your viewing.


Mike Tyson – Thspinal Injury

“Were you sick this week, what was the problem?”

“I Broke My Back.”

“What do you mean by that Mike?”

“My back is broken”

This actually wasn’t an excuse for failure by Mike Tyson as he had just knocked out Clifford Etiene inside the first minute of round 1 back in 2003.

It’s funny nonetheless.

1993 Adelaide Crows – Fartgate

The Crows lead to Bombers by seven goals at half-time in the 1993 preliminary final and as coach Graham Cornes gave his last instructions to his tightly huddled group moments before the start of the third quarter someone let go a ripper fart that quickly took the focus of the coach.

Some twenty years later Mark Bickley owned up to the stench, proving there is credit in the ‘Who ever denied it, supplied it’ theory.

The Bombers went on to win the match, and the premiership, and create one of the more hilarious excuses in sporting folklore.

Allen Iverson – Practice

Allen Iverson missed practice and in a press conference to explain why he missed practice, he mentions the word practice twenty times without explaining why he missed practice.


More excellent post match interviews can be found HERE

Shane Warne – Mummy Gave It To Me

On the eve of the 2003 Cricket World Cup Shane Warne was slapped with a 12 month ban by the Australian Cricket board panel for testing positive to a banned diuretic.

He blamed his mum. His bloody own mother.


Brazilian Divers – Wet and Wild

Giovanna Pedroso and her synchonized diving partner Ingrid Oliveira finished dead last in the 10-meter event at the Rio Olympics.

Their excuse?

Ingrid had met herself a nice, young male canoeist named Pedro Goncalves the night before and asked her partner to wait outside their dorm while they played hide-the-sausage.

Giovanna was no cock-blocker and immediately obliged the request. She was unaware that the two were in for a marathon sex session and she would be waiting outside for half the night however!  

Here’s a summary of the story with some funky jazz music over the top.

And HERE are some of the greatest power couples in sport.

Sri Lankan Cricket Team – No Swimming Pool

The Sri Lankan Cricket team were playing sour puss after their poor showing at the last World Cup, claiming that other teams were getting preferential treatment.

One of their gripes was that their hotel didn’t have a pool. 

The World Cup was hosted by England and Wales. Not sure why you would want a pool.

David Price – Carpal Tunnel

David Price developed carpal tunnel in his hand from playing fortnite.

Sure ya did David 🤜💦😉

Australian Cricket Team – Scare Dinkum

The Australian public were shocked to find out that their team had been beaten by Bangladesh in a one day match in Wales prior to the 2005 Ashes Series.

There must be an excuse for such a terrible performance surely?

The team claimed they were staying in a haunted house.

Shane Watson was so terrified he had to sleep on Brett Lee’s floor.  

Let’s leave it at that shall we.

Vinny Testaverde – The Blind Quarterback

The former Heisman Trophy winner asked his coach Ray Perkins if he could have the Buccaneers home jersey changed to white for the following season when he was the quarterback in Tampa Bay.

He was colour blind.

He won the greatest achievement in college football and played 21 seasons in the NFL in the most important position and he was colour blind.

What have you done with yourself lately?