The Bachelor 2019 Form Guide

While we here at Neds are used to studying the form of the fillies, it’s normally for something like Oaks Day.

But with office sweeps and betting all the rage with The Bachelor Australia, we are proud to present to you this form guide as to which lucky lady will win the heart of the Bachelor, astrophysicist Matt Agnew.

There might be a clear favorite but there’s a solid field and it’s a marathon, not a sprint.

With that in mind, we’ve analyzed the current crop of Bachelor Participants (Including the new arrivals) in 2019 with the hope of finding you a ros…sorry, winner. 

Chelsie
$1.20

Made an impact with the nipple tattoo of chemistry and is already a clear favourite in our market. 

With her profession being a chemical engineer it should blend in well with Matt being an astrophysicist. 

Along with her fondness for exposed nipples on national television, she looks to be a stayer and we should see her go deep into this series.

If you got her in your office sweep, count yourself lucky!

Abbie
$4.50

We all knew about Abbie from the “I’m a Gemini” promo. 

It went viral, we all had a laugh.

She seems confused but with the best of intentions. 

Might be in for a rude shock that Matt won’t be able to give her reading as for what lies ahead in the future. 

Perhaps the stars will align for these two? Solid value at the $4.50 price currently on offer. 

Elly
$5.50

Prepare to deal with heartbreak with this one.

She’s got runner up written all over her.

The new Brooke.

The Tom Melbourne of the Bachelor.

We’re all going to love her but I just can’t see Matt committing to her. 

She has already scored the Golden Ticket to Melbourne which means she’s off to a great start. 

Putting Matt on an instant first date on the intro/roasting marshmallows was a brilliant move. Full credit to her. 

It remains to be seen if shes a distance runner or a sprinter. 

Helena
$10

You get the feeling with this one that Matt might be keen, but she looks ready to break some hearts – especially the Bachelor’s.

She was the first cab off the rank and made an impression straight away and had her one on one chat with Bachy ruined by Hannah.

It should be interesting to see how this one progresses. 

Should be a stayer but I don’t like where she is in the barrier draw. 

The current $9 odds seem ok but she’s going to make Matt fight for it. 

Kristen
$15

不会对中国闭嘴

according to Google translate, it means “WON’T SHUT UP ABOUT CHINA”

She’s lived in China, Studies China, Is all about China.

More China than China itself.

For good measure, the $15 AUD we’re offering for her is ¥71.16 Chinese Yuan 

CHINA.

Brianna
$17

A brunette who did nothing so far in the first two episodes.

In her bio she says “I love to be drama free” when asked what makes her a catch.

She’s not going to last with that attitude on the show.

 

Hannah
$17

Made an outstanding entrance with the love actually gear and boombox.

Looks like she’ll be great value during the series but probably not going to win Matt’s heart.

Loves just barging in on a chat. 

Can’t see this being sustainable, but hey at least we’re in for a good time with this one. 

Jessica
$17

BAD ALERT.

She’s here to be the bad girl.

Has the Tatts, has the sass. 

Is going to make things difficult for the other girls in the mansion. 

Boldly claimed “the new girls are going to give the old girls a run for their money. Game on.”

Interesting given that we’re two episodes in and there is already a divide between old/new.

Renee
$17

Who?

If she’s at this price she better step up to the plate in future episodes. 

Monique
$17

The blonde, bombshell with “The Boobs” as the others described, Monique made an impact on her debut last night.

Is a classic Bachelorette play claiming that she wasn’t here to impress anyone else and that she is a tomboy is a strong play.

With a lethal combo of having worked in the mines, does boxing and is into lacy lingerie, it ticks a lot of boxes.

But is Matt beyond that? 

The market suggests yes. 

Turns out, according to credible and respected source The Daily Mail has also had it off with some bloke from MAFS. 

Emma
$21

🚨🚨🚨CRAZY ALERT! 🚨🚨🚨

We have our crazy clingy and obsessive contestant for the 2019 edition of The Bachelor folks.

The producers have thought long and hard as to who is going to be the Cass of 2019 and Emma is the right woman for the job.

Perhaps Emma isn’t like that in the real world but on Bachie, she’s the one who’s cray-cray.

The only way I can see Emma winning this series is her locking Matt up in an abandoned warehouse, feeding him once a day and then demanding he marry her.

It could be some of the most brutal reality television endings we’ve ever seen and a solid collect for punters backing it at the $21 odds. 

Rachel
$21

Wore a wedding dress on the first night.

Is from the Botox stable.

Actually said  “Some girls will just do anything for camera time.” during the first show which was a bold play given she turned up wearing a wedding dress. 

Looks like Jess from Married at First Sight. 

In the end, Rachel Probably wishes she was on Married at First Sight but ended up on this series of The Bachelor instead. 

Tash
$21

Wore a green dress on the first episode.

Started steady at the gate, might make an impact later on.

Again is from the more mature stable and will be interesting to see if Matt is keen on someone older. 

Cassandra
$26

Cassandra didn’t do much in the first episode besides proposing to Matt.

With that in mind, she’s here for a good time, not a long time. 

She’s also a jewelry designer and therefore, she’s the new Kat.

Mid-range contestant, won’t last the distance.

Julia
$26

Julia made her debut on the show last night with her ukulele sing along with Matt.

She seems very wholesome.

Her profession is a children’s entertainer by trade which means she will be nice and wholesome on the show and has no chance of being a bitch or doing anything remotely sexually suggestive. 

While this should be commended, it’s a likely weakness on a show like The Bachelor.

Perhaps her future is with Big Ted and Jamima on Play School. 

 

Nichole
$26

We have our villain folks.

Nichole rocked up on the Motorbike and clearly doesn’t give a stuff if she wins hearts or not.

She’s here to cause trouble and keep us entertained.

Also hates Monique and will make life hell for her. 

Lives on the Gold Coast and does boxing in her spare time – Villian.

She ain’t winning but she’s going to keep things interesting. 

 

Sogand
$26

Does Sogland have a Sob Story to win hearts? 

Will she last?

We’ll have to find out over the coming weeks because all we know is that she is a civil engineer from NSW and is Persian,

Managed to get a single date on the second episode and keep away the other Persian on the show giving her a monopoly in the field. 

Smart job, Smart Bachie – could work.

Probably not. 

Isabelle
$34

Pilates Instructor.

Can be flexible.

Proved that on the introduction.

Given the show is currently PG rated. won’t go far. 

But had a crack anyway and as ScoMo says “If you have a go, you get a go.”

All puns intended it’s a bit of a stretch to see her winning Matt’s heart. 

 

Jessie
$34

Seems nice.

Not going to win.

Thankyou, Next. 

Nikki
$34

One of the “new girls” and by new girls, they mean introduced in episode two, Nikki made a strong introduction with her Toni Basil “Hey Mickey” routine.

The chant went as follows:

“Hi there, my name is Nikki,

Finding love can be quite tricky,

Oh Bachy, you’re a cutie,

Let me see you shake that booty.”

I give her three episodes max. 

Mary
$41

Has done the whole “I”m not here to make friends” act already.

This means she’s here to be the troublemaker and hopefully does excellent pieces to camera.

No chance. 

Vakoo
$41

We’ve saved the best till last.

Unfortunately, she’s also at the longest odds.

We had the joy that was Vanessa Sunshine in last year’s series, now Vakoo will be the cult hero.

Any model that makes an entrance with her own red carpet, says blatant things like “I’m pregnant” and “Once you go black, you never go back.”  is an instant winner with viewers.

She’s too good for Matt and too good for this show. 

We are not worthy. 

She might be at $41 odds, but the reality is she’s priceless.