If anyone got 9/9 after Round 1 of this AFL season, you clearly know nothing about Football.
Just what did the good people of Twitter dot com take out of the first weekend of AFL season 2019?
Our weekly wrap-up “Around the Tweets” sums up the Tweeting punters take on the weekend that was.
Thursday night – Carlton 9-10 (64) def by. Richmond 14-13 (97) @ MCG
For about the 15th year running, people questioned why Richmond and Carlton always opened the season.
Should we open the season with a grand final replay? #AFLBluesTigers
— Mark Ricciuto (@markricciuto) March 21, 2019
Much like the finding the G-spot, it is rare, but a good take from this fan none the less.
Sure sex is good but how’s the pure joy of Dustin Martin being pinned for holding the ball 😍 #AFLBluesTigers
— liss. (@elissasampson) March 21, 2019
Richmond’s Alex Rance did a season-ending injury and some people thought it would be funny to celebrate it on Twitter but were exposed for being deadset flogs.
You are a complete imbecile https://t.co/UDgaJs1Pvt
— Matthew Richardson (@mattricho0) March 21, 2019
And then a bloke mooned FOX Footy’s coverage.
Cracks are appearing at tigerland with Alex Rance potentially out for the season #AFLBluesTigers pic.twitter.com/ZnajNIkcSQ
— Tim Crabbe (@twcrabbe85) March 21, 2019
Collingwood 9-11 (65) def by. Geelong 10- 12 (72) @ MCG
Shock! Collingwood fans were being feral.
This is exactly what is wrong with football supporters… Umpire does his job and review confirms a behind yet degenerates like these Collingwood supporters hurle abuse! @CollingwoodFC not a good look if these people represent your club and its cheer squad… #AFLPiesCats pic.twitter.com/KRe8LgqEzN
— Simon Cave (@simon__cave) March 22, 2019
Darcy Moore’s new haircut caught the attention of Footy Twitter.
Nathan Buckley NOT happy with Darcy Moore… #AFLPiesCats pic.twitter.com/gHKOTvTZCO
— Mark Franklin (@marklfranklin) March 22, 2019
It was an arm-wrestle and the Pies lost another close one.
The magpies lose another close one #AFLPiesCats pic.twitter.com/t08FHOaO4Y
— NedsAU (@NedsAus) March 22, 2019
Saturday Arvo – Melbourne 9-7 (61) def by. Port Adelaide 12-15 (87) – MCG
Much interest surrounded Port Adelaide runner Chad Cornes use of speed signs on the Power bench.
km/h ? 🤷🏻♂️ #AFLDeesPower pic.twitter.com/Bid7RcGPBA
— Michael Willson (@MichaelCWillson) March 23, 2019
Jack Watts post-game interview was rare, honest and raw.
A raw moment for Wattsy on @FOXFOOTY last night. #AFLDeesPower #weareportadelaide pic.twitter.com/eoeDzJtvMf
— Port Adelaide FC (@PAFC) March 24, 2019
For Dees fans, it’s the hope that kills them.
“Hope is a dangerous thing. Hope can drive a man insane.” #AFLDeesPower #Shawshank pic.twitter.com/sVlsScm8Gq
— Chris Tetaz (@christetaz9) March 24, 2019
And Port has a new cult hero in debutant Zac Butters.
Butters 🙌⚡️🍐👏 #WeArePortAdelaide
(artwork by @Ken_Oath_1870) #AFLDeesPower pic.twitter.com/kYQZ19esi3— Natalie (@PAFC_NSWMember) March 23, 2019
Saturday Twilight – Adelaide 7-13 (55) def by. Hawthorn 12- 15 (87) – Adelaide Oval
It was clear that most people’s footy tips were stuffed once the Hawks touched up the Crows on Saturday. But you gotta hand it to the Crows social team, their Instagram story was outstanding!
The @Adelaide_FC @AFL Insty story yesterday is world class.
Go check it out.
Consistently up there as one of the #smsports leaders in AUS sport. #AFLCrowsHawks #AFL pic.twitter.com/N8tIiN1obG— Blair Hughes (@MrBlairHughes) March 24, 2019
Twitter wasn’t happy with the performance of Crow Captain and man who likes a vacant seat next to him whenever he flies, Tex Walker.
Taylor Walker must easily be the worst captain in the AFL #AFLCrowsHawks
— Colin Brown (@bigbrowndog69) March 23, 2019
The Carlton Cheer squad Twitter does some good work and this was an outstanding sledge at the Crows.
Remember when Adelaide traded away their first round pick?#AFLCrowsHawks
— Carlton Cheersquad (@CFCCheersquad) March 23, 2019
Pick 1 is looking good for the Blues, thanks Adelaide #AFLCrowsHawks
— Did Carlton Win? (@DidCarltonWin) March 23, 2019
Never, ever write off the Hawks but geez, smug Hawthorn fans? No thank you.
Watching the replay the morning after… #AFLCrowsHawks pic.twitter.com/WXok3lGtMd
— Hawk Talk Podcast (@HawkTalkPod) March 23, 2019
Saturday night – Western Bulldogs 11-16 (82) def. Sydney 9-11 (65) @ Marvel Stadium
There was only one thing Twitter was talking about from this game, and it was Chris Hemsworth and Matt Damon watching the game in a corporate box.
Matt Damon also in the house!#AFLDogsSwans pic.twitter.com/GjmHfnJNzm
— 7AFL (@7AFL) March 23, 2019
Dogs footy! @chrishemsworth and Matt Damon are loving this!#AFLDogsSwans pic.twitter.com/vz5njAvcj7
— AFL (@AFL) March 23, 2019
Get the hammer out @chrishemsworth! 🔨#AFLDogsSwans pic.twitter.com/GhAjcGVadl
— 7AFL (@7AFL) March 23, 2019
Saturday Night – Brisbane Lions 15-12 (102) def. West Coast 8-10 (58) @ The Gabba
The mighty Brisbane Lions (proudly sponsored by Neds) ARE BACK BABY and Twitter got around the boys as they defeated last years reigning premiers by 44 points at the Gabba.
Fuck yes! CARN you lions! #AFLLionsEagles
— Rohan Bewick (@rbewick8) March 23, 2019
Old mate has clearly forgotten about last years Grand Final.
Fuck when was the last time the eagles won outside of Perth. Gutless #AFLLionsEagles
— JesseBeckhamJr23 (@23hornibrook) March 23, 2019
The Gabbattoir is back in business and we’re bloody pumped to be part of it!
Welcome to the #Gabattoir, Weagles 🍗😂. That’s my @BrisbaneLions right there. Smashed the complete shizzle mcfizzle out of the premiers tonight, they did. Hells yes, they did. 102-58. #Uncaged indeed. 😁😁😁🦁🦁🦁👊🏼👊🏼👊🏼💪🏼💪🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼#wholetthelionsout #brisbanelions #afllionseagles pic.twitter.com/PFGCFrOGY4
— Lix North (@LixNorth) March 23, 2019
Sunday arvo – St.Kilda 13-7 (85) def. Gold Coast Suns 13-6 (84) @ Marvel Stadium
It was a thriller between two teams that no one fancies.
Not sure who is going to win this but it won’t be football. #AFLSaintsSuns
— Titus O’Reily (@TitusOReily) March 24, 2019
Marvel Stadium’s roof was open and turf was crap.
Shut the roof at Marvel Stadium. I’m finding it hard to watch on TV. Players at the ground prefer it shut, coaches prefer it shut. Who prefers it open 🤔🤷♂️?? #AFLSaintsSUNS
— Brad Green (@bradgreen18) March 24, 2019
‘Atrocious and border line not safe’: Marvel Stadium surface slammed. #AFLSaintsSuns
MORE: https://t.co/9Z0M6gcc7V pic.twitter.com/j5si4Pwf2r
— FOX FOOTY (@FOXFOOTY) March 24, 2019
The Saints won by a point. Alan Richardson gets to keep his job for another week, but he probably should still check Seek to see what’s out there.
Saints up by 12 points against the Suns at 3 QTR time.
Meanwhile, in the coaches box:
“Alan, might not be a good idea to close the Seek dot com dot au on your browser. Just in case.”#AFLSaintsSuns #AFL pic.twitter.com/jbRNo7wi9f— NedsAU (@NedsAus) March 24, 2019
Sunday Arvo – GWS 16- 16 (112) Def. Essendon 5-10 (40) @ GIANTS Stadium
We could do this as a separate blog, but we are proud to present to you “People bagging, making jokes, threats and losing their shit at the expense of Essendon on Twitter”
Remember when it was Richmond fans who microwaved their memberships in disgust? Well, Essendon fans are now picking up the slack!
New year,same old shit! Turning this microwave on for as long as it takes to burn this membership card! Disgraceful performance! This shits been happening for 15yrs! Just bomb it inside50 to no one every time.Any danger of hitting a target or not fumbling?Im done! #AFLGiantsDons pic.twitter.com/XvXwrXWgSg
— Mad Nord-White 🔴⚫️ (@madnordwhite) March 24, 2019
While Bomber fans microwaved their memberships, everyone else was having fun at the expense of the men in red and black.
I haven’t laughed this much since season 8 of ‘The Simpsons’. #AFLGiantsDons
— Days Since Essendon Won a Final (@EFCFinals) March 24, 2019
After a big Sat night I woke up vowing to myself that I would never drink again- then I watched the bombers opening game …oh well that didn’t last too long. Cheers 🥃🍷🍺 #AFLGiantsDons
— Nick Giannopoulos (@NikGiannopoulos) March 24, 2019
“I’ve made a huge mistake.”#AFLGIANTSDons pic.twitter.com/dzktgxNZPM
— NedsAU (@NedsAus) March 24, 2019
Whenever you feel stupid, just remember that David King said Essendon will win the grand final. #AFLGiantsDons
— Anastasia (@_anastasiab92) March 24, 2019
We kept hearing about team defence at Essendon over summer. They just gave up 32 shots at goal. Players intensity spectacularly lacking. Inspid really #AFLGIANTSDons
— Jon Ralph (@RalphyHeraldSun) March 24, 2019
Just about sums it up for Essendon in the first half. #AFLGiantsDons pic.twitter.com/N0KeF6YG06
— 7AFL (@7AFL) March 24, 2019
Sunday Night – Fremantle 21-15 (141) def. North Melbourne 9-5 (59) @ Optus Stadium
There was plenty of Tweets from the game, but it’s best left to two out of the only four tweets ever sent out by their coach Ross Lyon that sums up the year ahead for The Dockers after their stunning 82 point win over the Roos.
Strap yourselves in
— Ross Lyon (@RealRossLyon) March 3, 2016
Watch this space… #gofreo
— Ross Lyon (@RealRossLyon) February 20, 2013