The Eurovision Song Contest boasts one of the biggest cult followings in world culture and will take place in Lisbon, Portugal later this week.
Australia will be making a fourth competitive appearance at Eurovision in 2018 and Jessica Mauboy has been selected to fly our flag; continuing a time-honoured tradition of just sending a former reality show contestant and hoping for the best.
To be fair, 2018 probably represents our best chance to date of winning the coveted Eurovision title and if there isn’t a big conspiracy at play, Mauboy could make history. Below, we’ve taken a look at all the glitz, glamour and questionable entries ahead of this year’s Eurovision Song Contest!
The Favourites
Israel ($3) ‘Toy’ – Netta
Israel have tabled a truly bizarre song in 2018 and given that’s what Eurovision is all about, it’s the $3 favourite in early betting.
‘Toy’ performed by Netta tells the story of a girl who is not the toy of a villainous and controlling partner. The official video could not be more colourful and that is sure to translate into something extremely flamboyant on-stage in Semi-Final 1 and the GF. It’s important to note that Netta is the only performer to cluck in her song this year, and that has to count for something.
Being the competition favourite is not always a good thing – Italy were odds-on for the entire week leading into last year’s competition, but drew top points from only one other country in voting and finished sixth.
Australia ($7) ‘We Got Love’ – Jess Mauboy
If you thought that Eurovision was reserved for European countries, you would be wrong. Somehow, we have weaselled our way into the fold and obviously, we’re sending another former Idol contestant.
Jess Mauboy has become one of our national treasures and there actually isn’t a better artist to have represent Australia on the world stage. Her song ‘We Got Love’ is already getting decent air-time on the radio and to be perfectly honest, it’s a banger. A song that can and will do well on its own merits, rather than just piggybacking on Eurovision.
We’ve only competed three times previously but have finished fifth, second and ninth respectively thanks to Guy Sebastian, Dami Im and Isaiah Firebrace. $7 looks to be a nice bet, not only for the patriotic punters.
Bulgaria ($7) ‘Bones’ – Equinox
Bulgaria will be represented by five-piece common framework Equinox, who have been thrown together for the sole purpose of this competition.
If the official video is anything to go by, it’s going to be an absolute snooze fest on stage and rarely does that lead to a crowning result. This is apparently a ‘super group’ made up of some of Bulgaria’s finest performers and while that often does lead to something good, like The Travelling Wilburys, in this instance it’s not so convincing.
$7 looks unders for a song that will be easily forgotten in a field dominated by higher tempo tunes.
France ($7) ‘Mercy’ – Madame Monsieur
‘Mercy’ is the name of the song carrying France’s hopes at Eurovision in 2018 and it is performed by Madame Monsieur, who bears a striking resemblance to Carrie Bickmore from certain angles.
While last year’s result completely contradicts what I’m about to say, songs written and performed in English tend to outperform those that aren’t across the entire European continent. If there’s one nation who will always refuse to perform in English though, surprise surprise, it’s France.
Entries from the ‘Big 5’ countries tend to bomb and it’s tough seeing Mercy breaking the trend in 2018. France is another country that could prove to be big unders at $7.
Norway ($7) ‘That’s How You Write a Song’ – Alexander Rybak
Alexander Rybak and Norway have a serious shot at winning the 2018 Eurovision Song contest with the appropriately-named ‘That’s How You Write a Song’.
The official video for That’s How You Write a Song is pleasingly creative (while extremely uncomfortable to watch) and if Norway’s national final performance was anything to go by, we’re going to be treated to a face-melting violin solo from the man himself.
If this bloke’s suggestions on how to write a song were actually taken on board, music would be ruined, but this one in particular is disgustingly catchy and is worth consideration for a bet at $7.
The ‘Big 5’
Spain ($34) ‘Tu Cancion’ – Amaia & Alfred
Spain have all but given up on the Eurovision front and they have decided on another boring song in 2018, which is probably under the odds at $34.
The Spanish-sung ‘Tu Cancion’ is a bloke and a girl singing what I can assume is a love song to each other, at a slow tempo and with the acoustic guitar volume knob turned right up.
Not for me and realistically, not for that price either.
Italy ($41) ‘Non Mi Avete Fatto Niente’ – Ermal Meta & Fabrizio Moro
Italy will be represented by Ermal Meta & Fabrizio Moro, and the song ‘Non Mi Avete Fatto Niente’ at this year’s Eurovision Song Contest.
This is another instance where I can only assume the meaning of the song, but if the official clip is anything to go by, it’s as politically-driven as Midnight Oil, but lacking an enigmatic front man.
Italy were offered a far-better chance of winning Eurovision with Francesco Gabbani last year and if a bloke in a gorilla suit couldn’t salute, I really do not think this can.
Germany ($51) ‘You Let Me Walk Alone’ – Michael Schulte
You Let Me Walk Alone, performed by Michael Schulte is this year’s Eurovision entry for Germany.
I can’t quite put my finger on what the song itself reminders me of, but I can’t help but think of 90s comedian Carrot Top when I look at Michael himself.
He’s got a ripper voice and for that reason, this song certainly cannot be ruled out of contention, but is it memorable enough?
United Kingdom ($101) ‘Storm’ – SuRie
Another sub-par effort from the UK sees SuRie’s ‘Storm’ put forward as their 2018 Eurovision entry.
The song as a whole is confusing and that is not at all helped by the official clip. It’s tough to know what’s going to go down on stage
$101 looks about the right price and the UK are probably lucky that they get an automatic berth in the final this year…
The Roughies to Consider
Sweden ($21) ‘Dance You Off’ – Benjamin Ingrosso
Sweden is the second-most successful nation at Eurovision having won on six previous occasions and they are always worth consideration for a bet.
This year, the popular Nordic nation will be represented by young dance artist Benjamin Ingrosso, who boasts an impressive CV in music and performing in his home country.
Ingrosso is the cousin of prominent DJ and Swedish House Mafia member Sebastian Ingrosso, who has experienced some success to say the least. This song isn’t a banger of ‘Miami To Ibiza’ proportions, but good enough to win Eurovision? Maybe.
Ireland ($151) ‘Together’ – Ryan O’Shaughnessy
The best roughie in the 2018 Eurovision Song Contest field is Ireland’s ‘Together’.
Ireland is the most successful nation in Eurovision’s history and have clearly found the key to producing memorable, relatable songs and performances.
While it does break the mould of several songs towards the top line of betting, it’s particularly well written and is generally just a good song. Adult contemporary probably isn’t the key to winning this year, but this song is worth consideration at monster odds.